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**THAT
LITTLE SECRET OF OURS**
PART 1
The slayers spent the entire night together, sleeping and making love, exploring each other’s body deeply. They went outside only in the afternoon, walked in the park holding back the urge to kiss every minute and to hold hands as they’d decided not to show their feelings to people yet. Letting each other first get used to their new relationship.
Buffy called her mother in the evening, just to tell her she was fine and staying at Faith’s for the night, not giving any more explanation and Joyce not wanting to hear any. Buffy called Willow too, after remembering she was supposed to meet her and Xander at the bronze the night before. Buffy pretended her and Faith had come across a group of vamps and that they had to find their nest after that. Willow said it was ok but her tone was cold, Buffy noticed but for now she really didn’t want to have to explain what was happening... Feelings, strong feelings overwhelming her in a way she’d never felt, but despite the good it was doing to her, her mother’s reaction to it disturbed her and made her feel uncomfortable towards these feelings somehow...
To please everyone and avoid suspicions they decided to go to the bronze that night and agreed to be careful not to dance too close or at least try to focus their attention on the others.
When they arrived Buffy directly went to sit beside Willow and Faith went to the dance floor to join Xander. Willow was a bit cold during the first minutes while Buffy was asking her lots of stuff about her, her witchcraft, the night before or if she thought she’d passed her exams. After a few minutes only Willow finally got more involved in the talk and found her enthusiasm back. Oz kept nodding gently.
They were laughing when the two others arrived. Xander directly sat beside Oz, were he’d let his coke and ribs so Faith had to sit beside Buffy. The brunette slayer immediately asked the two other scoobs how they were doing because Willow was already back into jealous mode. And she seemed satisfied with the brunette’s concern and Buffy’s talking to Xander at the same time. They really were acting like almost just acquaintance and for Willow that was perfect. She, as well as the two others, was unaware of the inner wrench taking hold of the two slayers. Being apart, even if sitting beside each other was a torture, not being able to touch, barely looking at each other by fear of not being able to look elsewhere afterwards, or knowing that everyone would guess just by their look at each other was a torture. Faith’s hand was on the couch. She just moved it a little closer to Buffy’s thigh and she almost imperceptibly began rubbing her little finger against the blonde’s thigh. Buffy felt deep warmth; she felt a wave of heat and had to take a deep breath before being able to keep talking with Willow. They stayed that way for half an hour.
“Well guys, guess it’s time to go back home.” Buffy finally said.
Willow had been yawning for a while already, she nodded and Oz began to get up. Buffy turned around to Faith who was already up,
“See you, Faith.”
“Yeah guys good night.”
And the brunette simply left. Willow smiled hugely whileBuffy was screaming inwardly, she forced herself to smile though,
“Let’s go, I’m walking you home.”
Willow smiled even more.
They walked to Xander first, and then Buffy left Willow and Oz in front of Willow’s house. She took the direction of her house but as soon as she was out of sight from the others she began running in another direction; towards Faith’s motel like she and Faith had agreed earlier that day.
She was smiling already at the sight of the motel’s neon sign, she quickened her pace even more and only slowed down when she heard voices coming from Faith’s room, the door wasn’t close and a man was almost out of it, Buffy frowned.
“Look I swear you’ll get the money tomorrow... it should be here already, just a delay I’m sure but tomorrow you can trust me.”
“That’s what you say every time.”
“And you know every time that I’m right, don’t you? Because you can sense honest people right? This is why you own this motel chain.”
“You get it right I run this business, I’m not just a fucking employee so flattery won’t get you anywhere. Right now I have to do everything in this fucking motel because this fucking moron got himself killed so I don’t have time to lose with chicks like you, understood? I want the money tomorrow or you’re out of here and no more delay after that.”
Buffy moved closer as Faith replied,
“Ok, you’ll have it.”
The guy frowned at the sight of the blonde girl approaching.
“Ok, rules are clear. That’s an extra if she's staying.”
“I’m just visiting.”
He smiled wickedly,
“3 nights in a row, that’s a long visit to me.”
He looked at Faith from top to bottom,
“Well if you don’t have the money... try to think about other ways to pay your rent babe.”
“What the fu-“
Faith pulled Buffy inside to prevent from jumping on the guy who just walked away, Faith closed the door.
“Who does he think he is? I swear if he tries anything I-“
Buffy was silenced by Faith’s lips on hers, after a long urgent kiss they pulled away.
“You really think he could do something to me that I wouldn't want?” Faith sensually whispered.
Buffy smiled and relaxed,
“I know, I’m sorry, just the thought of... but how you’re gonna do? And about that, makes me wonder I never asked you how you were paying for that.”
Buffy pointed out the room.
Faith dragged them both to the bed, “Council.”
Buffy looked surprised,
“Wow, didn’t think they would do something like that, they’re paying for everything, the room, the food and all?”
Faith kissed her in the neck, “Not everything baby.”
“What do you mean?”
Buffy slightly pulled away, Faith kissed her again,
“Let’s not talk about this now baby; I’ve missed you too much tonight.”
“I know, it was so hard... but I think it was best, and Willow was happy.”
“Yeah, my turn now.”
Faith moved in a predatory way on top of Buffy who smiled.
They made love for a while.
They were breathing heavily, Buffy sighed contented as she moved on her side, letting her head rest on Faith’s chest.
“So?” she asked again after a while.
Faith sighed, more upset. She kissed Buffy’s forehead and began stroking her hair playfully,
“Well, in fact they just pay, well barely pay for the motel’s rent, that’s all.”
Buffy propped herself on her elbow and frowned,
“But why? I mean, how are you doing for the rest? The clothes, the food?”
Buffy looked thoughtful for a while and added,
“Lunch room?! That’s why you’re almost always at school for lunch time right, and all those times you kept taking stuffs home with you like yogurts, cookies and stuffs... God and I never suspected anything aside from the, you know, hungriness and horniness. I’m so sorry Faith.”
“You’re for nothing in that baby, not your fault. I asked Wesley once, told him it was not enough but the council doesn’t want to give more. You know as long as you’re here they don’t care that much, I’m kind of the outcast, most of all since my watcher’s dead.”
“I’m sorry, if I’d known.”
“Hey it’s ok, B. Look aren’t I doing fine? Don’t I look fine?”
Buffy smiled at her, “You’re looking so gorgeously fine my love.”
They kissed passionately and Faith turned Buffy around again and began licking on her neck and chest once again while Buffy still looked thoughtful,
“Baby? You know my mom once told me that you should come home with us; she thought it wasn’t cool to let you live in such a place.”
Faith looked up at her and slightly laughed before trying to be serious again,
“Hey B, don’t tell me you’re really serious there? Ok then let me refresh your memory, your mother can’t stand a single bit of me now.”
“I know she’s been kind of... but she’s a cool mom, I mean a cool person. I’m sure it was just the discovery cause before she used to say-“
“Before I wasn’t doing her daughter Buffy. Wake up, she’s not gonna accept us that easily, and certainly not in her house, think she’s been pretty clear... and you know that too.”
Buffy sighed, “I know, it’s just not fair, you don’t deserve that, there’s got to be a way.”
“I’ll find one, I’m a big girl Buffy don’t worry, now just stop talking about that will you?”
“But how you’re gonna do with the owner? I’ve got some money I-”
“No way.” Faith said cutting her, Buffy went on,
“But if you-“
“You keep your money Buffy ok? I’ll handle it.”
“And how?! You’re gonna end up screwing him to pay your rent?”
Faith looked hurt; Buffy reached her face with her hands,
“No baby I’m sorry, didn’t mean to, I’m just afraid, I don’t want you to have trouble I-“
“This is what you think of me Buffy?”
“No, no Faith I’m sorry, this story just gets to my head, I’m really sorry, I know you wouldn’t, not now, I know Faith, please forgive me, please.”
Buffy was pleading, beginning to cry. Faith took her in her arms,
“It’s ok, I know you didn’t mean it, it’s just gonna be ok, don’t think about it and it’ll be ok, just let me take care of my things ok?”
Buffy’s throat was clenched, she nodded and Faith kissed her for a long moment then began sucking on her nipple and sliding her hand further down. Buffy inhaled deeply, despite the pleasure she couldn’t totally get some of these thoughts out of her head.
PART 2
They spent the Sunday morning together and in the afternoon Buffy went to the movie with just Xander and Willow and to the mall with Willow afterwards, doing some shopping. They didn’t speak about Faith at all and Willow seemed very happy.
Buffy then went back home and had dinner with Joyce, they didn’t speak about Faith either and Joyce was acting like usual and being almost nice. Buffy was very disturbed by this. It all seemed to be going so well but... she was missing Faith and she was feeling bad; she wished she wasn’t missing her, that it would be more easy... and thinking that was making her feel sick about herself, like she was betraying Faith.
~~~~
Buffy joined Faith later in the evening; they patrolled together and then went back to the motel. They made love before falling asleep into each other’s arms.
The next morning Buffy woke up at 7 to get ready to go to school. Faith was slowly waking up; Buffy was almost ready to leave. Faith opened her eyes and smiled at the sight of the blonde girl moving closer to kiss her,
“Hello baby”
Faith pulled her closer,
“I really could become a morning person with such a wakening”
They smiled at each other and kissed tenderly, Buffy finally pulled away,
“You pick me up after school ok?”
“Err in fact Buffy I won’t make it this afternoon, I got to be elsewhere”
Faith was looking avoiding; Buffy raised her brows, surprised and also already fearing she wasn’t gonna like that talk,
“Where are you going?”
“The bronze... but it’s ok you can meet me there after school”
Buffy frowned at Faith’s non real answer,
“Ok. But what for are you gonna be there?”
“I got an appointment”
“For a job?”
“Well bronze not doing hair cut yet”
“I’m serious Faith, when were you gonna tell me?”
“I tell you now. Look Buffy I need the money, they’ve got a job that I can do without showing any diplomas and the manager’s cool and not very particular with age so I can’t complain”
Buffy looked surprised but not in a nice way,
“The manager’s cool? You’ve already met him then?”
Faith looked aside and Buffy replied,
“I see, so it’s more than an appointment, it’s more like the last formalities right”
“Ok Buffy I‘m probably starting tonight but... I only saw him yesterday, they really need someone and I swear I didn't think they would say yes and that I'd start that soon, but... Buffy I really need that job, I’m gonna get kicked out of this place otherwise you know that”
“I told you Faith I can lend you the money and you wouldn-“
“Please Buffy we’ve talked about this already. Look, just try not to give that too much thoughts ok? It’s only temporary, now I want a big smile, an even bigger kiss and you run to school cause you’re late... again”
Buffy was about to say something but Faith added,
“Ssh, I don’t want to hear anything, I don’t want you to worry Buffy, it’s gonna be just fine... and besides I will be able to see you there as much as I want so what more should we ask?”
Buffy tried to put aside her doubts and finally gave Faith her smile back. The brunette pulled her closer and they kissed.
“Now run”
Faith could tell Buffy wasn’t convinced at all but she kept on smiling at her until the blonde was out of her room, then her smile faded and a very sad expression replaced it.
~~~~
End of school, they were heading outside the building. Buffy headed on the opposite side from her way home, Willow asked her,
“You’re not going home?”
“Err no, going to the bronze”
“Now? And it’s Monday, it’s always dead on Mondays”
Buffy hesitated,
“Well, I’m just passing there in fact. Err, Faith had an appointment, just wanted to check how it went”
Willow nodded and Xander asked enthusiastically,
“Yay free drinks for us!!!”
“Well admitting she’s hired” Willow said raising her brows, Xander went on,
“That’s negative thinking Will, let’s just get there and show her how much we’d like our free drinks”
Xander smiled maliciously and joined Buffy who frowned,
“Err well no, I mean, I’ll tell you tomorrow guys, don’t bother to come you’ve got things to do right?”
Oz and Xander shrugged their shoulders negatively and Willow sighed, Xander said,
“Come on, we’ve had enough work last week, let’s take a few minutes to show her some support, that’s what you told us to do not long ago Buffy remember? Come on Will, let’s go”
Buffy had no choice but to go there with them.
~~~~
They entered the bronze and went to sit on a corner as Faith was still on full conversation with the owner, then she went behind the bar and the bartender showed her some stuffs for about half an hour. The bronze was very calm. It was about 7 when Faith finally joined them, bringing some coke at the same time, Xander joked,
“See, I’d told you, free drinks!!! That job is bank!!”
Faith smiled at him. Buffy asked, trying to sound enthusiast but failing miserably,
“So, it’s good?”
Faith nodded,
“Yeah, starting tomorrow”
Oz asked with interest,
“Part-time?”
Faith hesitated as she looked at Buffy but cleared her throat and looked back at Oz,
“No full-time”
Buffy took a deep breath discreetly, Xander asked Faith,
“What are your schedules?”
Faith replied avoiding,
“Not totally settled yet”
Willow frowned and asked a bit inquisitively,
“How come, he should’ve told you your schedule already, most of all if you start tomorrow, working full time?”
“Yes, well”
Faith was very hesitant, she’d have preferred the others not to be here, and Buffy was looking at her silently. Faith finally said,
“Well 8 pm to 2 in the morning from Tuesday to Thursday and 7pm to 3 from Friday to Sunday”
Buffy looked aside for a short while trying to remain calm and not show anything, Xander said,
“Wow that’s kind of heavy”
“I need to work and well, he’s doing me a favour by taking me for a job I don’t have legally the age to do so, we’re kind of both doing each other a favour. Besides, slayer here, I can take this schedule easily, so it’s not a problem for me”
Oz asked,
“What about the slaying?”
Willow said before Faith replied,
“In fact it’s just perfect, Buffy slays in the evening and she can go back home a bit earlier so that she can rest as she’s got to get up for school but as Faith doesn’t, she just takes over the slaying for the rest of the night, that way it’s more efficient than slaying at the same time, at the same place”
Willow couldn’t help rejoicing inwardly and that shown in her tone, no one talked for a short moment, Faith finally said after a while,
“Well, kinda true”
Buffy got up,
“Need to pee”
She left silently; Faith looked aside in annoyance at her departure. They continued talking for a short while and Faith got up in her turn,
“I forgot to ask him something about my pay”
“Ok”
Faith didn’t go to the boss’ office but instead to the restroom, she stood straight in front of Buffy who was sitting against the wall, very thoughtful, Faith began,
“Look Buffy it’s not that bad”
“Not that bad? When will I see you Faith?”
“We’ll have plenty of time Buffy; before school, after school, at school I’ll come you know. And Saturday and Sunday all day, don’t be defeatist before we even started B. And I told you, it’s only temporary”
Buffy sighed, Faith moved closer and took her hand helping her getting up and then pulled her closer, she took her face in between her hands,
“I love you Buffy”
Buffy stared at her intensely, couldn’t find her words, Faith kissed her passionately before pulling away and whispering,
“Let’s try that way for a while ok? School’s almost over, we’ll see afterwards ok?”
Buffy finally smiled at her,
“Ok?”
They kissed again tenderly and Buffy went to join her friends, after a while they all left, they walked Xander, Willow and Oz home and both slayers went back to Faith’s motel and spent the night together.
PART 3
Buffy went to school the next morning; Faith went at school for lunch time to see her but with the others around it wasn’t very easy for both of them and they felt rather uncomfortable as they had to hide their feelings; Buffy still not wanting the others to know.
Buffy then joined Faith for 2 hours after school and then went to the bronze with her. It was rather calm on a Tuesday evening but still Faith was working and it wasn’t much easy for them but they had to grin and bear it, hoping it really would be temporary.
The rest of the week went by, same way. It was Saturday afternoon, 5 pm. Buffy let out a loud sigh as she climaxed for the nth time this afternoon. They were laughing a bit trying to catch their breath when a knock resounded on the door. They both gave a jump and waited silently, hoping whoever it was would go away but another knock resounded,
“Faith? It’s me, Xander”
Buffy raised her brows looking at Faith speaking very low,
“Xander? What is he doing here?”
Faith replied a bit offended, “Like I’d know?”
Xander insisted,
“Faith you in there?”
“Shit”
Faith got up, taking a sheet to cover her body,
Buffy frowned,
“What you’re doing?”
“Gonna open the door”
“What!”
Buffy just said still very low as to not be heard, and she just had the time to hide herself under the sheet as Faith opened the door, she stepped outside a bit as to have the door almost closed behind her in order for Xander not to really look inside. She looked at him with a blasé gaze; he gave her a goofy smile,
“Hi Faith, sorry to bother you, I heard a noise so I kinda knew you were in, didn’t mean to bother you but I was passing by”
She was still staring at him unconvinced,
“Yeah, so what did you want?”
“Err, I just thought I’d stopped by you know, see if you didn’t need, I mean I thought maybe we could... talk you know, about last time and maybe... hang out together, just if you maybe need... someone to hang out you know, as a friend”
She smiled a bit but with Buffy being inside she would not be mean, she cleared her throat,
“Yeah well, that’s a... nice thinking, without ulterior motive”
She smiled again and finally ended a bit more serious,
“Sorry Xander I’m kinda busy right now”
“Ok, yes sure, you got to be ready for work, it’s cool. Just wanted you to know that you can count on me”
“Thank you”
She told him without enthusiasm as she began to open her door to step back inside, he took a glance,
“Oh, ok”
She understood he noticed a silhouette under the sheets, he added a bit embarrassed,
“Ok I’m sorry, I didn’t know”
She tried to remain stoic,
“Yeah, sorry too, you’re a nice guy but-”
“-It’s ok I get it, but still if you need to talk you-“ he stopped with a frown,
“Isn’t that Buffy’s jacket on your bed?”
She looked at the jacket and turned around to Xander very fast pushing him backwards as he had stepped forward a bit trying to look at the clothes on the ground,
“Ya she lent it to me yesterday? Gotta get dressed now, thanks for stopping by. See ya”
And she closed the door leaving him perplexed.
~~~~
Buffy pushed the covers aside of her and looked at Faith with a pissed off expression, the brunette told her,
“He didn’t notice anything B”
“Yes he did!” Buffy replied as she took her jacket, and then put it back on the bed, Faith went on,
“It’s cool B; you lent it to me how strange would that be? Look, he knew I was in there; it would have seemed even weirder if I’d not answered”
Faith moved closer and sat beside Buffy to kiss her, after a while she said in a very low voice,
“You know Buffy that... it would be easier if you would just... tell them... about us”
Buffy pulled away a bit,
“Yes, I will, now is just not the time but I will tell them... soon”
Faith got up trying to hide her disappointment,
“Yeah, not the right time... time, well it’s time for me to go to work anyway”
She left for the bathroom, Buffy knew she was annoyed but she couldn’t help being very anxious about facing her and Faith’s relationship in front of the others. She couldn’t do it right now. Faith told her from inside the bathroom,
“You should go home B. Change your jacket otherwise tonight he’ll understand that we saw each other today and he could even... maybe start to imagine that you’re doing some nasty things with me... who knows?”
Buffy sighed, feeling bad about Faith’s sarcastic comment but right now she knew there was nothing she could tell her that would make the brunette feel better. So she got dressed and went back home.
~~~~
“Buffy is that you?”
“Yes mom it’s me”
Joyce walked closer; she was obviously pleased to see her daughter but tried to remain serious and a bit cold,
“Nice to see you... been a while, so you’re just passing by or you’re staying?”
Buffy moved a bit forward to the stairs and replied shyly,
“Well actually I gotta change, going to the bronze tonight... with the others”
“When are you studying Buffy? And don’t tell me tonight’s Saturday night; you’ve been away all nights this week. I wish I could say you’ve been studying intensively but I’m not a fool. This is an important year Buffy, don’t throw it away for some high school experiment, curiosity or whatever ok?”
Buffy smiled,
“Please mommy, the concerned-mother-speech doesn’t fit you at all... Or I should say the hypocrite-mother-speech doesn’t fit you. I go to school mom every day; I don’t miss classes, you happy? What I do with the rest of my time is my business”
Buffy left for her room and Joyce let a heavy sigh out before going back to the kitchen.
Buffy went downstairs half an hour after, she opened the front door when her mother exclaimed from the living room,
“Don’t forget Aunt Janie tomorrow!”
Buffy stopped in her track and walked backwards,
“What?”
Joyce came closer,
“You forgot? She’s coming to visit us tomorrow”
Buffy looked very annoyed, her mother didn’t let her say anything,
“You are here tomorrow Buffy; and this isn’t a request, it’s an order. She’s living in Europe, coming once in a year, we’ve planned this long ago so whatever you do tonight I want you here before lunch time tomorrow or... don’t bother to come back home again, at all”
And on these words Joyce climbed the stairs, Buffy held back the urge to punch in the wall; she just left slamming the door.
~~~~
Buffy was still upset when she arrived at the bronze; she immediately went to the bar hoping Faith could make her feel better but it was Saturday and as much as she wanted to Faith barely had the time to look at her lover. Faith finally pointed out to Buffy the table on which the Scooby’s were with an apologizing frown. Buffy knew it already was very hard for Faith so she wasn’t gonna give her an even harder time, so despite her disappointment she gave her a genuine smile that immediately lightened up Faith’s heart, and face as well, the brunette smiled back and Buffy went to her friends. They danced for a while, talked and laughed. Xander was observing Buffy rather thoughtfully but he was still far from imagining that but he had to admit her friend was acting a bit weirdly these days... That had been the main talk between him, Willow and Oz over the last few days.
Buffy was glancing discreetly at the bar as often as she could. The others were getting tired, they suggested getting home but Buffy insisted to stay so they stayed too. Around 11.30 Faith left the bar, looking towards the Scooby’s, making sure Buffy noticed her, it was her break, they were both waiting for that moment, Buffy got up,
“Well you’re right it’s getting late and it’s really crowded there anyway, better go on patrol a little bit, you’re gonna be ok going home?”
Willow asked her,
“Yes Buffy of course, but you don’t want us to patrol with you?”
“No it’s ok Will, so I’ll see you guys tomorrow evening ok?”
“Ok”
They left the bronze and Buffy headed towards the staff room and discreetly stepped inside, she was welcomed by Faith’s arms and mouth as well. They kissed languorously for a while before Faith led her to an armchair on which she sat and pulled Buffy closer on her lap and against her chest. She held her by the waist and they both sighed happily,
“I thought this moment would never come”
Buffy smiled but then asked,
“How long do you have?
Faith sighed,
“Well, kinda crowded tonight, 15 minutes’ a max”
Buffy sighed; Faith caressed her neck and kissed her then told her optimistically,
“It’s ok Buffy, we’ll meet right after ok? And tomorrow all day”
Buffy sighed in annoyance and Faith frowned,
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s... I kinda argued with my mother and... because, well I’d forgot Aunt Janie’s coming to visit us tomorrow... I kinda have to be there, at least for lunch”
Buffy added very fast,
“But then I’ll do my best to get to you as soon as I can I swear”
Faith just held her tighter and they remained silent for a while, before Buffy turned around a bit and they started kissing for the rest of Faith’s break, eventually they had to pull apart and got up. Buffy asked,
“So it’s ok, I wait for you till you go out and then we go at your place until let’s say, 11am, then I go home and come back as soon as I can ok?”
Faith smiled and caressed Buffy’s cheeks and gently said,
“You’re gonna go back home now Buffy ok?”
Buffy frowned,
“But why?”
“I think it’ll be simpler that way AND it’ll please your mother, maybe she’ll get off your back then. You just do what you can but if you can’t make it for the afternoon don’t make a fuss we’ll then see each other at my break and after, we’ll have all Monday since I’m free then”
“But I’m not, I got school and even without this, I don’t think I can spend that much time without seeing you, touching you, kissing you”
She kissed her after saying that. Faith was trying hard to keep her cool and think calmly with her mind rather than with her heart or she knew she would already be making out with Buffy and the hell with the job and everything else,
“We’ll see about that tomorrow ok, no matter what we’ll see each other tomorrow so we’ll reassess the situation then ok?”
Buffy was forcing a smile,
“Yes, ok”
Faith kissed her; it was the only thing that was erasing all of her worries, all of their worries... no wonder why they were kissing so much, so long.
Faith then went back to her place behind the bar, Buffy sat on it for a while observing her beautiful girlfriend before finally leaving her as this situation was being for both of them uncomfortable each time. They couldn’t stay in the same close area and NOT talk with each other, or look at each other and touch each other of course, that’s why she left.
PART 4
The next morning Joyce entered the kitchen’s door. She wasn’t surprised to see Buffy as she’d heard her coming back during the night. Buffy didn’t look at her; she just kept on reading her paper while drinking her coffee. Joyce was glad that she was here but she was feeling bad about what she told her the day before, remembering how she had worried for months last time she told her daughter the same thing and that Buffy actually did leave the house, so she wanted to ease the tension between the both of them,
“Hi Buffy”
“Hi”
Buffy did not look up and as she replied toneless, Joyce kept on smiling and told her honestly,
“I’m glad you spent the night here... I’m glad to be able to have breakfast with you again, makes me happy because... I’ve missed you”
Buffy looked at her, despite her will to stay mad at her cause she really didn’t like her mother’s ultimatum the day before, she couldn’t help giving her back her smile. She could understand this, knowing how empty she was feeling when she was separated from Faith and she was thinking for a mother it must be harder to separate and let go of your child. Buffy handed her the saucepan and Joyce took a cup. Buffy served her mother, thinking for once she was going to have a peaceful breakfast with her and maybe there was a way...
That’s only when Joyce sat beside her that she noticed Buffy was searching through the renting page of the paper, Buffy had even checked off some of the ads in it. Joyce frowned and asked a bit hardly,
“What are you doing?”
Buffy said hesitantly,
“Just... checking out stuff”
“Apartments? What for?”
“I’m just checking that’s all”
“No you’re not, you’ve ticked off some already, what do you think you’re going to do with that?”
“Look mom, I don’t really want to go into that right now”
“She’s making you do that isn't she?!”
“No mom she’s not, she doesn’t even know that I want-” Buffy trailed off and her mother took on,
“Leave the house? And how you think you’re gonna pay for that”
“I’ll find a job and I’ve got money on my current account and even more on the deposit one”
“Let’s talk about that account Buffy, this money is for college only, there’s no other way for you to get it unless I died or when you’ll turn 21 otherwise. Your father and I chose this option when we opened it for you at your birth. We thought it might be better and I can’t believe how much I’m thankful we did that since you’re not as mature as I thought you were”
“Why am I not? Because I love another woman?!”
“Stop Buffy I don’t wanna hear that, you don’t love her, it’s just a thing”
“No mommy it’s not. I can’t believe you’re doing that!!”
“You’ll get this money before 21 only if you need it for the college Buffy, no other reason, so you’re gonna go to college and forget about this story. Period”
Buffy was completely stunned and bitter,
“I don’t need your money anyway, if you can’t accept me the way I am then I don’t need it. I know how to take care of myself anyway”
“Oh right you’re gonna do the waitress all your life?!”
“I’ll do whatever it takes!”
Buffy said slamming the kitchen’s door behind her to go to her room.
~~~~
The reunion with her aunt went well. Joyce and Buffy didn’t let their actual divergence show. Joyce was supposed to leave home with her sister at 4 to take her to the airport so Buffy stayed until 3 pm letting the 2 sisters together, she quickly ran to Faith.
They lied beside each other for a while just kissing and enjoying simple time together before making love.
They were now lying again in each other’s arms, Buffy sighed,
“It’s too short”
Faith caressed her head but didn’t say anything, Buffy added,
“I just wish we could” she trailed off and Faith took over,
“It’ll get better soon”
“You think?”
“I just think that it could be worse”
Buffy looked at her,
“What do you mean?”
Faith replied wickedly,
“Think about it, you’ve got a really sexy hot brunette making moon eyes to you, in her bed right now when you could still be stuck with that Scott Hopeless guy”
Buffy couldn’t help laughing a bit without scolding,
“Don’t be mean, he was... nice”
“Nice? What is that nice? You don’t want nice do you?”
Faith asked in a husky voice while she gently pressed her hand teasingly on Buffy’s crotch. Buffy purred in her ear and whispered,
“I really can’t fool you”
They kissed for a while before Buffy took her serious look on,
“Yes, could be worse, but still. I had a fight with my mother this morning, I can’t stand it anymore”
Faith frowned starting to understand what Buffy was getting at,
“What do you mean Buffy?”
“Nothing, just... she freaked out, she almost threatened about shutting my account and stuff like that if I left the house”
Faith kept on frowning but remained calm as she asked,
“And where exactly did she pick the idea that you would leave the house?”
“Don’t know, you know my mother”
Faith replied still seriously,
“Actually not that much, but I do know you so spill the beans Buffy please”
“It was nothing; I was just having a look at the ads for renting you know, just checking out”
“I’m sure you weren’t just checking out Buffy. Don’t you think you’re going a bit too fast?”
“All I know is that I wanna be with you, I was checking for us, to be together, more”
Faith moved a bit aside,
“I don’t think this would be the result Buffy, come on, can’t you take one step at a time?”
Buffy frowned in her turn as she said,
“Well I’m starting to think that it’s a step back that you would like to take”
Faith stared at her intensely and Buffy added, softening her tone,
“I’m sorry, I know it’s not... I just love you so much, sometimes I just feel so much love for you that I... it get me lost sometimes, don’t know what to do with it”
Faith moved closer taking Buffy’s face in her hands and caressing her before saying,
“That’s exactly the point Buffy, look I do want to be with you so much but I think that you, even more than me, are not ready for this”
Buffy said in a very small voice,
“But I am”
“Buffy? You haven’t told your friends yet, no one knows except for your mother and we can’t say that it’s a success for now, just give it time. Give me time too and most of all give yourself the time to handle this love... Don’t you think?”
Buffy leaned in closer and kissed her before pulling apart,
“You’re right, I’m sorry”
“Don’t be. If I could Buffy, we’d be just together in a big castle with no worries, no obstacles and living fairy tales kinda life but... we can’t avoid real life Buffy. I don’t wanna miss this thing that we have that’s why I wanna be ready”
They kissed again and they got ready to go to the bronze.
~~~~
The bronze wasn’t too crowded that Sunday evening but Faith didn’t have much time to talk with Buffy and by the time the others arrived she was too busy to remain at their table. Xander, bringing the drinks, sat beside Buffy. Willow and Oz sat in front of them. An awkward silence ensued, Willow wasn’t talking to Buffy. After a while Xander finally asked,
“So Buff how was your day?”
Buffy smiled a bit relieved,
“Great. Spent the day at home, Aunt Janie was visiting us that was fine”
Xander enthusiastically asked,
“You didn’t tell us? Did she bring her famous madeleines?”
“You really think she’d have forgotten you Xander? I was gonna bring them to you at school tomorrow”
He smiled,
“That’s news I really like to hear”
Oz asked to Xander,
“Talking ‘bout tomorrow, you meet us at 6 at the fountain and we’ll take my van ok?”
“Fine by me”
Buffy smiled a bit unsure and hesitantly asked,
“The fountain, you’re going somewhere?”
“Yeah, we’re playing with the band in a club by the road side a few miles out of town”
Buffy replied hiding her surprise of not being aware of their plan, she added,
“Oh, sounds cool. You’re going... together, the three of you”
“Yeah, road trip for the night”
She smiled but hesitantly said,
“Too bad I didn’t know”
Xander looked embarrassed and Willow replied,
“We didn’t think you’d be interested”
Buffy remained silent and Xander added very fast,
“But you can come if you want, it’d be cool even”
Buffy looked annoyed,
“Well, yes I’d like to... if I’d new earlier maybe, but I-, the thing is, tomorrow I can’t, I gotta thing- but next time sure”
“Sure, ok Buffy, no probs”
Despite Xander's response the unease was obvious amongst them, Willow got up taking Oz’s hand,
“I think we’d better go back home, school tomorrow and as we’re not gonna get back earlier tomorrow night we'd better try to rest tonight, see you Buffy”
They both left without any more words and Xander slowly got up too,
“Well I think she’s right, see you tomorrow at school ok?”
“Yes sure” Buffy said as he left.
“Sure” she repeated, disappointed and thoughtful.
PART 5
Buffy waited patiently and thoughtfully for Faith to end her duty and they went slaying together then back at the motel and it was almost time for Buffy to go to school.
The week started that way, Buffy going at school, Faith showing up at different time of the day but feeling the tension when she was here she preferred to slow down her visit. They spent the whole Monday evening together then they were meeting after school and Buffy was going on patrol while Faith was going to work. Buffy was picking up the brunette after her job and they were going back to the motel.
It was Friday morning, 2.30 am. They were leaving the bronze by the back door, Buffy had just come back from her patrol, she was very eager to arrive to the motel. Faith seemed a bit annoyed, she stopped and Buffy turned around,
“What’s wrong?”
“Err, well, look Buffy I- I’d like to slay”
“Oh... well it’s getting kind of late, we won’t have much time to... you know”
Faith nodded but said,
“Yeah I know I-. Buffy I need to slay, haven’t done it since Monday it’s too much, I’m sorry I just- you know what it is, I really have to”
Buffy looked disappointed but tried not to show it,
“Yes, sure I do, I do but... what about me, I mean I need you“
Faith moved closer grabbing her by the waist,
“I need you too Buffy, I won’t be long I promise ok?”
“Or maybe, yes ok we’re gonna patrol together”
“Bad idea, you’ve got school today remember? The final exams are close I don’t want you to fail anything because you’d be tired cause of me ok? I love you too much for that”
She began to kiss her and then moved to the blonde’s neck. Buffy’s breath was very ragged since she was already very excited by her slaying and she had been waiting for that ever since she came back at the bronze after her patrol half an hour ago. Faith moved them both against the wall towards the back door of the bronze; she immediately pressed her thigh on the blonde’s crotch and was already teasing her nipple over her top. Buffy was moaning. Faith lifted Buffy’s top and undid her bra, moving down she began sucking on her breasts while Buffy’s hands were roaming through the brunette’s hair and neck. Faith was undoing Buffy’s pants. She pulled them to the ground as well as the blonde’s panties and went on her knees to suck on Buffy’s sensitive spot while fingering her at the same time. It didn’t take long for Buffy to reach climax. Faith pulled apart, cleaning her chin with her hand and licking on it. She moved to her feet again, pulling up Buffy’s panties and pants while the blonde was catching her breath. She gave her a quick kiss on the mouth,
“I love you, see you later, I won’t be long I promise”
And she left running while Buffy on the other hand let herself slid against the wall trying to realize what was happening between them, and why she was feeling that it wasn’t going the right way.
~~~~
Faith came back at 6.30 a.m. Buffy was still asleep, it was almost time for her to get up. Faith just crept beside her and held her tight. Half an hour later the alarm clock rang, Buffy turned it off very fast and felt the warmth of the brunette lying in her arms. She couldn’t help smiling at this sight but then the night’s event came back; the fact that they’d barely talked and seen each other was bugging Buffy very much. But then again, looking at her, seeing her face as she was sleeping tight was appeasing Buffy like it was always doing. Buffy washed and dressed up in silence as to not wake her up, kissed her on the forehead and left the room.
~~~~
The rest of the week and the week after went just like that. Every 2 or 3 days Buffy was going back to sleep at home. It was both pleasing her mother and leaving free nights for Faith to slay. Not that it was pleasing Buffy that much as it left them even less time together.
It was Sunday, 1 pm. They were still in bed recovering from an intense and very long making out session. They were just lying into each other’s arms, after a while Faith lightly asked,
“What we’re gonna today?”
“Well... err what do you mean?”
“Well, are we gonna do something else?”
Buffy smiled naughtily and replied teasingly,
“Well I wasn’t the one screaming and saying I couldn’t take more a few minutes ago was I?”
Faith smiled but then took back a more serious look on and asked again,
“You know what I meant Buffy, this is all we do, and this place is driving me crazy, I only see you here and at the bronze and... I’d like to go out”
Buffy caressed her face and hair,
“Yes I know but I-. I want to keep you all by myself and I can’t kiss you and hold you outside, that’s why I prefer here”
Faith caressed her face and kissed her neck before whispering,
“You know you could... hold me and kiss me, maybe it’s time th-“
“Please Faith” Buffy said cutting her in annoyance and moved a bit aside.
Faith sighed; Buffy went on moving closer again,
“I’m sorry Faith. It just isn’t a good time with mom and... I can’t do it now it’s... please understand”
“I try Buffy but it’s getting harder you know. At least to your friends, they’re cool it’d be easier and-“
“No I can’t please I- I know what we’re gonna do, I think there are a few cool movies this week at the Sun, I suggest we go buy sandwiches, have a nice Picnic in the park just you and me and the bright sun then we go to the movie what do you think?”
Faith looked at Buffy and smiled at her, putting aside the fact that Buffy wasn’t replying at the question but changing the subject, but Faith loved her to much to push her, if she wasn’t ready then she’ll wait. She just wished she was sure of where Buffy’s hesitations were coming from, but she kept on smiling,
“Sounds like a good plan”
~~~~
It was 4; the girls entered the theater room. They’d chosen an old anonymous movie as to have more chance to be alone in it. And it was almost the case; there were only two people that were on the first row, so they both sat on the last row in a corner on the right. The movie began but their interest in it didn’t last longer than the credits and they were already kissing passionately, hands caressing each other’s inner thighs and breasts.
In the meantime in the lobby Cordelia was taking tickets,
“I can’t believe they did that to me, do I look like the baby sitter type? If they don’t know what to do with their kids, people shouldn’t even think about having some. Don’t you think?”
The cashier looked at her perplexed while delivering her the tickets, Cordelia went on,
“But no, they have children and they need time apart so who’s the one who’s got to do the job? Dear cousin Cordelia, and what about my time? Wasting my Sunday to go see cartoons? God I’m too good of a person, and you think they’d be grateful, NOT, anyway, let’s go, Gavin? Gavin?!”
Cordelia looked around, the cashier told her,
“I believe he went that way”
“Thank you”
“So now I gotta run after the kid and oh fantastic; 3 rooms opened, gotta check them all, if only he was already reading I’d be sure to find him in THE one but no!”
Cordelia sighed exasperated and entered the first room, she checked at the screen for a short time, **Wasn’t hairdresser already invented at that time or what? Ew! I bet even fashion wasn’t. This movie’s for old fogey or making out teens, the kid’s not here anyway**
Cordelia began to turn around and first smiled as she noticed people in a corner. **Bingo! I am so good, making out ki-**
She was stopped in her thoughts as she slowly recognized one then a second slayer wildly kissing each other, she distinguished a hand under one’s top and another hand on the other’s crotch caressing and pressing on it. **That’s rich**
Cordelia smiled wickedly and left the room.
~~~~
The next morning Buffy kissed Faith goodbye and went for school. She walked through the corridor, smiled at a few people she didn’t know but as they were looking at her she smiled at them without paying much attention. She went to her locker and opened it. She glanced a few times on her left then on her right as she had the feeling people were looking at her, she turned around and all the gazes suddenly diverted from hers. **That’s weird**
She walked to the library with a strange feelings, she was trying to convince herself that she was being paranoid but she couldn’t help thinking that people were talking about her, at least some people. She received strange gaze, sometimes cold gazes and other times too hot gazes from girls she barely knew. She shook her head as she came closer to the library.
The scoobies were at the table, a bit restless,
“We can’t really trust her Xander, she’s always saying stuff like that”
“Stuff like that? Not really Will, that’s kind of a big thing don’t you think?”
Oz told them,
“She’s been going hard on us; well mainly on you Xander since... she probably just tries to piss you off again”
“Ok I get that, but she’d say shits about me then, why on her? And it’s not the first time she’s been saying stuff about the two of them”
Willow went on,
“Yes you’re right, and Buffy’s acting so weird that would explain a lot, God I can’t think about it. You really think Buffy’s... that she could, maybe it was just to try you know”
Oz said very calmly,
“Or maybe it’s more serious”
Xander smiled,
“Jee with Faith? Buffy is maybe disturbed a little bit but she’s still not stupid”
“Who is not stupid?”
Buffy said entering the room; she’d caught the end of the sentence only. She noticed the suddenly embarrassed gazes and shy smiles. Xander awkwardly said,
“Hi Buffy”
Buffy frowned but said with a smile,
“Ok did I miss something? There’s a new game at school or something?”
“No, no, not at all Buffy”
Since they were still looking at her with their annoyed gaze and not saying any more words to her Buffy got worried a bit and asked more seriously,
“Ok guys what’s wrong? I thought it was me because everyone out there is just staring at me, now you guys? What’s going on? Did I grow horns?”
“No, it’s just-”
Willow stopped herself and Buffy sighed,
“Come on spill the beans”
Oz took again still very calm,
“Cordelia’s been saying stuff about you”
“Yeah that’s fresh news”
Buffy said taking it lightly but got serious again as they weren’t taking it that way at all,
“Ok, so what stuff?”
Oz went on,
“About you and Faith”
Buffy tried hard not to let her crumbling face show, she remaint silent and Willow asked her,
“Is it true Buffy?”
PART 6
Buffy gave them her more ingenuous frown as she naturally asked,
“What?”
Xander and Willow exchanged a glance before Willow continued a bit more hesitantly,
“Well err, the things she said about you two, you know, the two of you”
“Yes go on” Buffy gestured still very naturally like she really wasn't understanding, Oz went on,
“She saw you two kissing”
Xander added,
“And that is for the PG-13 version; the one she told everyone was rather heading towards NC-17”
Buffy looked at them with surprise before laughing hard, hiding her nervousness brilliantly, they all looked at one another perplexed, not knowing what to think anymore. Buffy finally stopped and kept staring at them as they were still silent,
“Oh God don’t tell me you’ve believed her? I can’t believe you did. And I really wonder where she picked that idea, this is so ridiculous”
Xander and Willow were silent but Oz continued still calmly,
“You mean you weren’t at the Sun yesterday afternoon watching an old movie in room number 3”
Buffy remaint silent in front of their questioning gaze, she tried to remain cool,
“Yes I was, we saw a movie that’s right but that’s all”
Willow asked,
“Are you sure it’s all Buffy?”
Xander added,
“You know Buffy it’s- it’s ok if you and her you... we’re your friends so it’s, well it’s ok”
Buffy cut him a bit irritated now,
“Well from the way people are looking at me and the faces you were doing when I came in, I don’t think it isI mean, I don’t think it would be ok” she paused and went on more calmly,
“Anyway now let’s drop the subject, guys? It’s Cordélia? See what I mean? and it’s Faith and it’s me, really doesn’t make any sense”
Willow said,
“That you don’t call anymore; that we don’t see each other on weekend; that you go to the theater with her and not with me-us anymore, this doesn’t make any sense to me Buffy”
Buffy sat at the table beside Willow and told her very gently,
“I’m sorry Willow, I haven’t really been there lately and I know I spent lots of time with Faith, I won’t deny that we have a special bond together, everything about the slaying, the calling is more simple with her and I kind of have a hard time to explain it to you and I’m sorry I kinda quit doing so but Willow, you are still my best friend and I promise I’m gonna be around more often now, like before ok? Faith and I it’s... it’s just a slayer thing you know and she’s not really a people person that’s why we kind of stay together apart but that’s all and you guys are my friend ok?”
They more or less smiled and nodded, Buffy got up,
“Cool, I gotta pee now”
She headed to the door and Xander told her,
“I think Giles got something to say about the mayor, don’t be too long”
“Ok”
she left smiling, she hurried to the bathroom and locked herself in the first one and finally released her tears. She was hating herself right now and she was very scared, she’d told Faith that she was gonna tell them soon but she realised by her reaction with her friends that she never really intended to do so and it was making her sick, she couldn’t understand why it was so complicated. She loved Faith so much but apart from that love she was feeling that everything was wrong.
~~~~
She came back five minute later after having a hard time pulling herself together. Giles lifted his head,
“Ah Buffy, finally. I’ve got news about the mayor and I need you to go search for something”
Buffy smiled,
“Hi Giles, I’m fine thanks for asking, what about you?”
Giles frowned,
“What-oh yes hi Buffy”
Buffy kept on smiling, at least she was sure that he wasn’t aware of the rumour, she asked,
“So what’s that thing you need me to pick up?”
“Well it’s a series of book called ‘the book of ascension’”
“What’s that?” Xander asked, Giles replied,
“Well from what Wesley and I have researched we think that the Mayor may be preparing what we call an ‘ascension’, we’re not very clear on what it really is but every responses are in these books and we believe some demon in town has got them so you and Faith are go-“
“No”
Wesley interrupted coming out of the office giving Buffy a serious gaze before softening and going on,
“Buffy can go alone, they don’t need to be two for that mission”
Buffy was embarrassed, it was clear Wesley got the news from Cordelia too. Giles frowned,
“I thought we’d agreed these books were major, 2 slayers is going to be just enough for this mission. You told me yourself the other day that we DO need these books”
“Yes I know, but that was before... I mean yes, yes we need these books, ok Buffy you will go with Faith and report on the situation right after, don’t hang around in town”
Giles was more and more surprised, Buffy more and more annoyed, the bell rang. They all go up.
“Gotta go”
They left the room, Buffy looking down at the ground.
~~~~
The morning classes were a bit tensed; Willow, Xander and Buffy barely talking but lunch time eased the most of the tension and Buffy was trying her best to make them forget about all this story by behaving like she always had with them.
It was now the end of the afternoon; they were in study hall, working on math. They weren’t watched, they could leave when they wanted but like lots of twelfth grader at this time of the year, they were working hard for the last exams.
It was almost 5, Faith entered the room, she felt lots of gazes on her way but that’s a thing she was used to so she didn’t pay much attention to it. Buffy saw her coming and froze in panic for a second before taking deep breaths.
“Hey students, wow, y’all lookin so serious. Am I interrupting sumthin?”
She told them as she took a chair, turn it around and sat, legs spread over it and arms on the head of the chair. Everyone was looking embarrassed. She was used to that bad vibe when she was around but this time there really was more, and most of all usually she didn’t care because Buffy would look at her with wide green loving eyes and it would erase every doubts or discomfort but this time Buffy was looking as annoyed as the others and most of all not looking at her.
“Hi Faith” Oz told her, Xander said followed by Willow,
“Yes Hi”
“Hi” Buffy just said before adding simply,
“What you’re doing?”
Faith was unsure,
“Well I was kinda outside, waiting- I mean passing by”
She was supposed to pick Buffy up after school at 4 and Buffy knew it so Faith didn’t know if she should continue talking now, not really understanding what was going on,
“Anyway, I thought I might check what you guys were up to”
“Working the exams” Willow just said. Faith nodded,
“As I see”
Buffy turned around to look at Oz,
“Do you mind driving us to my house first before the movies, I’d like to change cause this pants really are too tight, guess summer’s gonna be diet fest, Will you have got to help me with it!!”
They smiled, Faith smiled too but frowned inwardly, she innocently asked,
“The movies? You guys are going to the Sun tonight?”
Willow happily replied,
“Julia Roberts night! Well rather evening cause there’s school tomorrow, we’re going to Oz’s”
Xander added,
“Pizza and dvds!!! And friends, nothing better!”
Buffy smiled at him,
“Exactly!”
Faith was inwardly stunned but trying not to show it,
“Tonight? Tonight is Monday”
She looked at Buffy while raising her brows, Mondays were the only entire evening and night they could spend together. Buffy replied a bit ironically,
“Yes thank you Faith I wasn’t sure”
Willow slightly laugheds. Faith got up,
“Ok, well guys, gonna let you work now, got... things to do... monsters to slay”
Oz asked,
“It’s still day light”
“You noticed that too... definitely not my day I guess, anyway, I’ll still find some dirt to clean, bye guys”
“Yeah bye, have fun” Buffy said without lifting her head from her book, Faith shook her head and left. Xander asked,
“What did she mean by not her day Buffy?”
“Don’t know, she probably made a tear in her fav leather pants this morning what do you think?”
Buffy was mocking a bit and the others slightly laughed before continuing their work.
~~~~
It was almost midnight when they left Oz’s house, Buffy said she was gonna walk home while Oz was bringing Xander and Willow home. Of course she didn’t go home but to the motel, Faith wasn’t in it. Buffy waited a bit as she was still unable to figure out what she was gonna say to arrange things. She knew Faith better than anyone, she knew what she did to her earlier was the worse she could have done to her and she didn’t understand why she did it. She was hurting because she knew she had hurt the brunette and still... she hadn’t been able to face it, to face her and she’d treated her like, yes, almost just a whore, nothing more, not worth of her interest, her friendship and she'd made of their love something absurd. She really didn’t know.
After a while she left the motel and started to look for Faith in town. She found her in a park, sitting on a bench, head in hands and a stake beside her. Faith raised her head when she felt the blonde coming, she gave her a quick glance before getting up beginning to leave, Buffy followed slowly not daring to ask, not knowing what to say but not able to let her go.
“Go home Buffy”
“Please Faith”
“Buffy go home, please”
Faith’s tone was very calm despite the bowling bowl clenching her throat. Buffy walked faster,
“Please Faith let me explain”
“I don’t wanna see you now Buffy, I don’t wanna talk to you, go home... go to Hell whatever but leave me alone”
Buffy caught up with her and put her hands on the brunette’s arms to stop her,
“I’m sorry Faith”
Faith turned around slapping her hard, Buffy made a few step back then rubbed her cheek, Faith was feeling even worse at her gesture, Buffy told her,
“It’s ok I deserve it, I understand, it’s ok, now just let me talk please”
Faith’s fists were still clenched; nervous tears were beginning to fall,
“No it’s not ok Buffy, leave me alone PLEASE, right now leave me alone”
She turned around and left. Buffy watched her left and turned around the other way, completely smashed; she’d spent so much time trying to break Faith’s walls, trying to make her talk when she was feeling bad, making her trust her and she knew she had ruined that in one day.
PART 7
Buffy went to the address Giles gave her to look for the Books of Ascension, it was past midnight but there was no way she could go home, she was feeling too bad. The demon took the most of her frustration, he would have given her the books after the first raw of punches but she kept on hitting him, leaving him in a very bad state. Looking at it, all bruised on the ground she was feeling even worse. She had a short moment of satisfaction while unleashing her rage on it but now she was ashamed and all the things that happened during this day was already back on her mind, she took the books and left running. She passed by the motel as she was beginning to think she would become mad if she didn’t talk to her. It was dark inside; she didn’t feel the brunette’s presence but knocked all the same, no responses. She just stood in front of Faith’s door for a long hour, holding the heavy books before leaving, walking home in slow motion. She walked up the stairs to her house still motionless and took a shower. She went back in her dark room as she had not switched the lights on. The window was the only source of light. Buffy sat on her bed, looked at it, large, wide and empty, everything was feeling so empty suddenly, she was feeling so empty.
~~
Her alarm clock rang; she turned around to look at it. Usually it was time to get up but she was still sitting on her bed like she’d been all night.
Eventually she got up and got dressed and pulled herself together as much as she could to go to school. She brought the books to Giles.
“Hi Buffy, you’ve got them, wonderful” he began checking at them but then looked at Buffy again,
“Are you alright Buffy?”
“Yes, yes I’m fine, I gotta go to class”
Her voice was very low and she left calmly. Before going to her class room she phoned at the motel to try Faith’s room but there was no one in the room, at least no one picking up the phone. Buffy sadly went to her classroom. She was too upset about the situation between her and Faith to worry about the other students gazes on her, still wondering. Willow and Xander looked very happy today and began talking to Buffy same way they left her yesterday evening; that is, like before everything starts with her and Faith. This was what Buffy had tried to do, this was where she’d tried to lead them all, all day long yesterday and she'd succeeded but now despite her will she was unable to keep on smiling and joking like they were doing, she was looking sad, the others realized it, Buffy’s pretext was that she’d probably caught a cold and would be better soon, she told them not to worry.
In between each class she tried to call Faith but never succeeded to reach her. She couldn’t hold it during lunch time, she wasn’t eating and she knew the others were wondering about her, she just left the table saying she had to go to the restroom. Willow, worried, followed her soon after only to find her hanging up the phone in the hallway,
“Buffy you’re ok?”
“Yes Will I’m fine don’t worry, just go back in there I’m joining you back soon”
“You’re so pale Buffy, you really don’t look ok, who were you calling, your mother?”
“Err yes, actually you’re right, I don’t feel that good, I’m gonna go back home and I’ll be better tomorrow”
“She’s coming to pick you up, you’re not gonna walk Buffy?”
“It’s ok, slayer remember and I tell you I’ll be ok soon”
“You don’t want me to get you to the infirmary you look like you’re gonna faint any second Buffy I swear”
“No thanks Will, I just need to rest a little, you’ll tell them for me ok?”
“Ok I will. Be careful Buffy and... don’t hesitate to call... if you wanna say anything or... if you need me, whatever you need just call”
“Thank you Willow”
Buffy left and Willow watched her walk away, the redhead was very thoughtful and worried.
~~~~
Buffy, of course didn’t go home, she just needed to see Faith too much and she was feeling too bad since the day before. She felt the brunette’s presence this time as she walked to the door. She knocked but Faith didn’t reply. Buffy opened the door and looked at Faith who was sitting on the bed, back against the wall looking thoughtful,
“Go away Buffy”
Buffy walked in and closed the door behind her,
“Please Buffy I told you last night to le-“
Faith stopped as she saw Buffy’s desperate face, the brunette diverted her gaze from that vision and just whispered again,
“Go away”
Buffy’s tears were falling already and she moved to the bed,
“I can’t Faith, I can’t leave and I’m dying without you”
She went to Faith and took her arms to try and make her look at her, she was breathing with difficulty, Faith tried to remain calm,
“That’s not what it looked like yesterday”
“Yesterday was a mistake Faith, I’m so sorry, I freaked out, Cordelia saw us at the Sun and I... I freaked out I’m sorry, I thought I was ready but I wasn’t and I couldn’t tell I-I’m sorry, please forgive me, please keep me, please Faith, please”
Buffy was trying to hold Faith who was trying to push her away,
“No, no Buffy”
“Please I love you”
“Don’t say that Buffy, you can’t act like that and come back saying you love me and think it can arrange everything Buffy, you know it doesn’t”
Buffy tried to kiss Faith, to kiss her neck whispering,
“Yes, yes it does, I love you and I know you love me Faith, I need you, I’m sorry, I love you, I love you”
She kissed her, this time Faith didn’t resist long and she held Buffy very tight in her turn. Buffy lied her down and moved on top of the brunette caressing her face, her breasts and kissing her urgently, everywhere she could, already unzipping both their pants,
“I need you so much Faith, I lo-”
“Stop” Faith said putting her hand on Buffy’s mouth before adding,
“Don’t say it” and she replaced her hand by her mouth, kissing the blonde wildly.
They made love for almost 2 hours, touching and pleasuring each other over and over again before lying side by side. Buffy was still caressing Faith’s breasts, she began sucking on one while her hand was moving down Faith’s stomach again but the brunette sat up straight on the bed. Buffy waited expectantly, she well knew that, like Faith said it nothing was fixed just because she told her she loved her, just because she wanted it to be. And Buffy was still very afraid of what was coming next. Faith tried to slow her still heavy breathing,
“You’re gonna tell them”
Buffy caressed the brunette’s back,
“I will. I will tell them I swear... soon”
Faith sighed and took a deep breath,
“This is not gonna work Buffy”
Buffy sat up straight too, putting her hands over Faith’s arms,
“Yes, yes it is, what are you saying? You can’t leave me Faith”
Faith started at her intensely,
“Then you’re gonna tell them today, you go back there and tell them the truth”
Buffy gulped,
“Faith please, I-I, why do you want that much everyone to know, it’s just us Faith, I love you, we don’t need the others”
“Yes we do Buffy, you do, and I don’t mean go outside make a big announcement to the whole world, I just mean to go tell the people you care about”
Buffy remained silent and Faith went on,
“No more I love you Faith, don’t say it anymore instead show it to me please”
“I will, I do I-“
Faith silenced her with her finger on the blonde’s lips,
“Buffy, this is not really a request, either you tell them today or... it’s over. And I’m very serious, I love you Buffy like I’ve never loved anyone in my life, I’ve grown so much through your contact and... but I won’t be your dirty little secret”
“God Faith you’re not, please baby I l-“
Faith silenced her again by a soft kiss before pulling away,
“Please, please, I wanna believe you more than anything Buffy, show it to me, I don’t wanna lose you, I love you Buffy, please, please show it to me”
Faith’s voice was cracking with emotions; she slowly got up, trying to remain as still as she could,
“Till then I don’t wanna see you again” and she headed to the bathroom leaving Buffy completely frozen on the bed.
~~~~
It was almost 5; Buffy was wandering in the school’s corridor. The bell rang and that was the rush; every kids heading to the lockers or directly outside. Buffy was closed to Willow’s locker. She saw the three friends coming towards it, they noticed Buffy and frowned, Willow was the first to talk,
“Buffy what are you doing here? Are you ok?”
Buffy pulled herself together,
“Yes, I’m fine, told you it would be ok fast”
“I called your mother earlier and she said you weren’t home”
Buffy was becoming pasty again, she was trying hard but there was something blocking her so Willow went on very gently,
“Buffy, come with me please, we need to talk”
Buffy followed her friend unable to say yes or no or look at her friends. The boys waited in the corridor for a while thinking it was better but knowing what Willow wanted to speak about. The girls entered an empty class room. Buffy took a deep breath,
“Yes Willow you’re right, we need to talk, and I need to tell you... There’s-there’s something I have to say, I-I...” she trailed off, Willow simply asked still in a gentle voice,
“Why did you lie to us Buffy?”
Buffy looked at her with a bit of surprise and Willow smiled,
“I’m your best friend Buffy and as much as I’ve enjoyed last evening and as much as I wanted to believe you, I think I’ve known for a while now what was going on between the two of you, it was kind of obvious in fact if you’re not closed to it, which I admit I was... And also every time I call home you’re never there no more... why didn’t you say anything Buffy? At least to me I-I” Willow trailed off in her turn; Buffy’s tears were coming back. Willow moved closer,
“Don’t cry Buffy I don’t like to see you cry; not the end of the world Buffy but I guess you have some making up to do right? I’m not really fond of Faith I know but I guess you hurt her pretty bad yesterday”
Buffy nodded and they both hugged each other as Buffy let go of her tears. After a while they both pulled themselves together, the boys entered the room, Xander told her,
“It’s ok Buffy, see, we’re still your friends, we just wish that you would’ve told us that’s all, but now it’s done so just know that we’re still here, still your friends ok?”
Buffy nodded,
“I’m sorry guys, I should’ve... but it was... I don’t know”
Buffy was feeling ill at ease and despite Xander’s speech she was feeling inquisitive gazes on her. Willow took again,
“Now it’s gonna be fine, no more secrets that’s all ok?”
“Ok”
Oz then said,
“We can go home then”
“Yes” Willow said with a smile,
They left the room without speaking about Faith. They didn't ask Buffy anything, how it was going, how important it was, nothing, they didn't even mentioned Faith's name and Buffy knew despite their friendship and the fact that they now knew that it would still be her and Faith together on one side and her and her friends on the other side.
PART 8
Buffy knocked at Faith’s room, not daring to enter.
“Come in”
“Hey”
Buffy told the brunette while stepping inside, Faith was looking at her, not in a hard way but not tenderly either like she was usually doing, she was waiting for the blonde to talk and Buffy did,
“They know”
Faith asked, not surprised rather doubtful like she'd thought Buffy would never tell them,
“Really?”
Buffy nodded,
“Yes they know now. I’m really sorry Faith, please forgive me, I love you”
Faith was a bit unsure about how to react but when Buffy walked closer and put her arms around her she didn’t hesitate and responded to the blonde’s embrace. They kissed for a while and Buffy was pulling them both towards the bed but Faith stopped her,
“It’s time; I mean- I have to go to work”
“Oh” Buffy said a bit disappointed before smiling again,
“Ok, let’s go then”
Faith asked her, “You’re coming with me?”
“Yes, I told the others I’ll be there tonight”
Faith frowned unsure about the news being good or bad,
“They’ll be there too... with us?”
“Well, they’ll be there”
Faith frowned,
“Is it your idea or theirs?”
“None really. They wanted to do something”
“With just you I guess. What did they exactly say about us Buffy?”
Buffy avoided her gaze as she replied,
“What do you mean?”
Faith gulped,
“Ok I rephrase my sentence; what did you exactly tell them about us Buffy?”
Buffy gulped in her turn,
“Well, look Faith they know that’s all that matters right?”
“You didn’t tell them much in fact did you?”
“Faith I swear they know, they DO know we’ve been together all this time, they perfectly know that in the bronze I’ll be with you tonight, and they’re probably ok with it then”
Faith raised her brows,
“Ya, probably”
Buffy moved closer, taking Faith’s face in hers,
“It’s ok now Faith, we don’t have to hide our love for each other so everything’s fine, stop worrying please”
Buffy moved closer and kissed her. Faith tried to smile,
“Guess we’ll see in time”
~~~~
They went to the bronze and Faith started her occupation. The others weren’t there yet. It was Wednesday and it was rather calm. Buffy was sitting at the bar; she was checking her watch nervously every 5 minutes. Faith noticed but didn’t say a thing.
It was now half past ten. Faith told her,
“I don’t think they’re gonna show up B”
“Err yeah, they probably stayed home to study you know. We’ll see them another time then”
Faith turned around towards the bottles,
“Yeah another time”
The brunette closed her eyes for a short while, she was trying hard not to think about it but she couldn’t help feeling the release in Buffy’s voice at the fact that they didn’t show. The blonde added with a smile,
“It’s just us then”
Faith took a deep breath then turned around with a smile too,
“Yes, always”
She moved closer and gave Buffy a quick kiss on the mouth. Buffy smiled but couldn’t help glancing discreetly around her checking who did see them. But she kept on smiling at Faith, not aware that Faith was looking and also hurting at each of the blonde’s hesitations.
Faith finally decided to let go of these thoughts and to help her do that she started drinking a bit as the night was rather calm and she wasn’t busy with the people. She was a bit merry when they left the bronze and they directly went back to the motel and made love.
Buffy was already gone for school when Faith awoke.
~~~~
Buffy walked closer to Willow and Xander who were already sitting in class waiting for the teacher,
“Hey guys!!”
Willow smiled,
“Hi Buffy!”
Xander smiled too,
“So how’s the buffster today!!”
“I’m fine thanks. Much better in fact”
“Cool”
“What about you guys? I missed you last night? Thought you were gonna come to the bronze”
They suddenly looked a little less enthusiastic, Xander said,
“Well, I kinda needed some help with this otherworldly thing called math you know”
Willow slightly laughed and so did Buffy too, not going further into that discussion, she asked all the same,
“So what about tonight? Do you thi-“
“Yes Buffy, about tonight” Xander said cutting her and Willow ended,
“We thought we could go see the last Angelina Jolie, we’d like to go all together, come with us please”
“Err, well”
Buffy hesitated but then added more confident,
“Yes, sure, I’m in, of course”
They smiled at her and the day went by with still no words on Faith OR on her and Faith’s relationship and despite her will Buffy liked the things that way.
~~~~
At lunch time Buffy called Faith on the phone,
#Ya#
“Faith it’s me”
#Yes baby, something’s wrong?#
“No, no, everything’s fine, just that tonight, well, they’re going to the movie and they’d like me to come. They know you work otherwise they’d asked you too, but well, you know I’ve been kind of away with them so I thought it would be good if I went with them just for that night but I wanted to know if it was ok with you first?”
Faith didn’t reply straightaway,
#Not your mother B, do what you want#
Then she added more gently,
#Yes I think it’s great, go with them, I’ll see you later#
Buffy said enthusiastically,
“I thought right after the movie I could come pick you up after your work and we’ll spend the rest of the night together ok?”
Faith hesitated again before replying,
#Have a better idea, you’ll go home after the movie to please your mother, two birds with one stone you know and I’ll go slay instead ok?#
Buffy honestly said,
“But then that would be kind of a long time before I see you again”
Faith couldn’t help smiling inwardly at the sweetness in Buffy’s words and voice and she told her,
#Just one little day Buffy, don’t worry babe you’ll survive, I’ll come see you at school tomorrow for lunch ok?#
“Well... ok then”
#So have fun and ya’d better miss me every seconds ok?#
“No doubt I will. I already do Faith”
A long silence on both side of the phone,
“Faith?”
#Yes babe#
“I love you”
Another silence.
#Don’t worry baby, it’ll be fine. I love you too#
“Courage for tonight. See you tomorrow, bye”
#Bye love#
Buffy hung up and went back to her friends. Faith hung up too and sighed, remaining a long while silent and very thoughtful.
~~~~
The day went by each on their side, the night as well. Buffy had fun and the others didn’t speak about Faith at all, not even once and Buffy certainly wasn’t gonna start a talk about her as they were all getting along so well with one another like before. Buffy then went home, told her mother she’d been to the movie with the scoobs and when Joyce understood Buffy wasn’t going back outside for the night she finally smiled at her. They hugged goodnight and went to sleep.
Buffy couldn’t find sleep, thinking about Faith who was still hunting in the woods at that moment.
The brunette went back to her little room very early in the morning, checking the clock, knowing her blonde lover was waking up at that moment to go to school. Thinking about their separate life, she crept under her sheet but couldn’t find sleep either.
~~~~
Lunch time, they were eating, telling jokes and talking when Faith entered the lunch room. Though she now knew why everyone was staring at her Faith didn’t pay more attention to that than she did the first time. She just walked straight towards the scoobies table and sat just beside Buffy. She didn’t kiss her as she knew the blonde would already be embarrassed and despite the fact that this reaction was hurting her she wanted the things to go as smoothly as they could go for Buffy, so she just sat beside the blonde saying hi to all of them like she was used to do, not changing a thing... except for her hand resting on Buffy’s thigh under the table. The others noticed but she didn’t take it away and Buffy, to Faith’s joy, put her hand on hers and gave her a shy loving smile before looking back at the others. The others, as Faith could recall they’d lost the ability of speech since she sat at their table. She didn’t let that disturb her, she asked,
“So guys? What’s good to eat today? What’s that thing in your plate B? Eww. Hey fries, you mind?”
She didn’t wait for Oz’s response and picked 1 in his plate. She was acting exactly like she used to, thinking it would help them, knowing nothing was different... or so little things...
But they were still silent, except for Oz who replied,
“Go ahead, I was done already” he handed her his plate with a smile. She smiled back and joked,
“Knew you were the coolest!”
Faith added,
“So that movie?”
Buffy replied, “Oh it was great, Angelina is always wonderful on screen anyway, isn’t she Will?”
Willow got out of her thoughts,
“Oh err yes, she is, it was a good movie yes”
Xander’s eyes were still wedged on Faith’s hand that was on Buffy’s thighs, so were the gaze of the few students that were behind them. Faith went on,
“What about you X-man? Did you like it?”
“What?! Err yes, me likin Jolie very much, most of all when she’s got underwear scene” he replied finally shaking his head out of his thoughts and taking back his pleasantries.
They smiled a bit. Faith looked at Buffy with loving eyes and the blonde blushed, looking back at her the same way and they were caught into each other but the others were staring at them too. Unable to understand that link, so they were ill at ease with the gazes, the feelings the 2 slayers were sharing. Both girls finally realised a good part of the room was looking at them. Buffy cleared her throat but Willow spoke first,
“Well, we should go now, I think Wesley and Giles wanted to see us about the books of ascension”
Xander got up as fast as Willow,
“Yeah we should go”
They both left, Oz following Willow as always and Buffy and Faith remained alone at the table, Buffy looking a bit ashamed before going up,
“So?”
Faith frowned,
“Yeah, let’s go”
They joined them at the library.
PART 9
The slayers arrived at the library and Faith immediately asked,
“So Giles, something new ‘bout the mayor? What about the books?”
“Yes, Wesley and I found out about the mayor’s plan”
Faith asked again as she sat at the table, “So what is it?”
Giles was standing behind the table; he showed some passage on the books as he replied,
“He’s planning on becoming a real demon; if we refer to what is written, he has probably already accomplish the ‘dedication’ ritual which means that he is invulnerable for now”
Faith continued,
“How do we stop him then?”
Giles hesitated and finally sat on a chair,
“Well... we still have to work on that”
They remained silent for a short while before Faith started again asking questions. She and Giles were the only one talking. Willow, Oz and Xander were silent, listening and observing the two girls. Buffy knew it and she barely dared to look at Faith. She really didn’t like it, she was feeling spied on so she just remained listening attentively. Faith knew the others’ prying gaze but decided to focus on the mission instead, she knew that Giles was aware too about the two of them but she knew she could count on him to not let any feelings distract him from the mission too, this one being very important. Wesley on the other hand was standing in a corner, letting Giles be The watcher without complaining for once. He was observing the scene and the slayers very carefully.
The bell rang, they got up. Buffy smiled at Faith telling her in a low voice,
“See you later”
And she left, the others being already at the door. Faith turned around to Giles,
“So maybe I could go check on the mayor in the meantime, at his office, maybe we’ll learn something what do you think?”
He replied with concern,
“I’d rather not. With the mayor’s likely invulnerability I wouldn’t risk a confrontation. We have to know more. I have a useful contact in town, meeting him this afternoon; I’ll probably bring more info”
He took a few papers on the table and put his jacket on, she nodded,
“Ok, hope it’ll work, see you later”
“Yes I hope too”
He left and Faith remained alone in the library with Wesley still in his corner, she began to walk away.
“Faith”
She stopped and sighed but didn’t turn around, she heard him finally moving away from his spot so she turned around, knowing what he was gonna talk to her about she started first,
“Buffy and I’s private life is none of your business Wesley”
She turned around again but he said,
“Not mine indeed, but the council’s one. Everything related to the slayers is their business”
Faith turned around again,
“So you couldn’t help but spill the beans Wes? Anyway we don’t care, not much they can’t say anyway”
“Faith”
“What now?”
“I have something to tell you from the council”
“Told you they have nothing to tell me or B about the way we live our lives”
“It’s not about you and Buffy. They have an offer for you”
Wesley headed towards the office and Faith after a short while followed him in.
~~~~
Ten minutes later, Buffy was running to the library as she’d forgotten her book inside, she was surprised to see Faith coming out of it,
“Hey sweet love still here?”
“Err yes, I- I talked a bit with Giles”
“I thought he was gone?”
“Yeah he’s gone now, anyway what about you?”
“Forgot my book and my homework is in it”
“Ok, well I’ll see you tonight B ok”
“Ok baby”
Buffy moved forward to kiss the brunette when she saw two students coming out of a classroom so she quickly stopped herself and also removed very fast her hand that was on Faith’s waist to Faith’s blasé annoyance, Buffy whispered,
“I love you”
Before adding in a normal voice,
“Gotta go”
Faith nodded, “Ok”
The blonde left and Faith repeated very low,
“Ok”
~~~~
A few more weeks went by the same way.
It was a Saturday morning, Faith and Buffy had spent the night together. Buffy was already dressed and she was reading a newspaper when Faith went out of the bathroom. They were calm, both in their thoughts. Faith was drying her hair when Buffy said,
“This one looks fine”
“What love?”
“This one, look”
Buffy said showing Faith an ad she’d marked on the paper. Faith took a look at it and just replied,
“Yes”
The brunette started back drying her hair and Buffy asked her,
“So what do you think?”
“About what?”
Buffy sighed,
“This flat, for us, moving in I mean. It’s not too expensive and doesn’t look too small”
Faith sarcastically replied,
“Yes because I’m getting cramps staying in that shitty little room ALL the time”
Buffy frowned,
“What do you mean?”
Faith replied nonchalently,
“Nothing”
Buffy shrugged and went on,
“Anyway so? We could take it, we’d be together”
“Hon we are together right now, it’s not a good idea, plus cheap or not it’s still too expensive, let’s wait a while ok?”
Faith’s look was nice to Buffy but her tone was firm and let no room for further discussion about it. Faith went back into the bathroom. After a few minutes Buffy said out loud,
“Faith err, I have to tell you, you know last time at the mall when we went to eat in that coffee-“
Faith entered the room again,
“Yes babe?”
Buffy went on,
“You remember they were looking for someone for a fixed-term contract for this summer”
Faith moved closer interested,
“Yes”
“Well I went back for an interview and the manager was very cool. I got the job”
Faith smiled after a few moment of hesitation,
“Good, that’s great a summer job. It will be good for you I think”
Buffy got up to Faith very hopeful and said,
“For us Faith. He told me that if everything goes well this summer there’s no way I wouldn’t get a permanent contract as they have 2 vacant jobs. Isn’t that cool news?”
Faith wasn’t rejoicing,
“What does that mean Buffy?”
“What? I thought you’d be happy for us”
“You think I’m gonna be happy that you’re planning yourself a shitty life as a waitress when you could be whatever else you want”
“I really thank you for your support Faith, that’s very nice from you”
“What do you want me to tell you Buffy? You’ve had more than excellent results to your test and-wait, did you receive some college answers’ yesterday? Is that what you’re thinking of that? They refused you in? Look Buffy even if a few said no there’s plenty more you can go in?”
Buffy got offended,
“Can I have my word to say? What if I don’t want to go to the college? You’re just like mom when you act like that?”
“So you did get some replies right?”
“No I didn’t, there weren’t any, next week probably but that doesn’t change a thing. I don’t care about all that. I am a slayer and I am with you and that’s what I wanna do. With that job we’ll be able to take that flat and move in together”
Faith exclaimed,
“What for?”
Buffy was almost shocked at that comment and Faith continued,
“Can you tell me what difference it will make?”
Buffy asked very seriously, “Do you love me Faith?”
Faith replied firmly,
“Yes I do and I’m not afraid to do it so tell me now Buffy what do you think us living together will do to our relationship? Is it to reassure yourself or prove that you love me? Come on Buffy admit it, you’re not comfortable with our relationship”
“It’s not true”
“Yes it is Buffy. They all know about us now, it’s been weeks and we’re still stuck in here everyday. We never go anywhere and when we do it’s barely if you look at me when someone’s here, tell me what does it mean to you?"
Buffy didn’t reply. Faith went on,
“To me, that means it’s not gonna work Buffy”
Buffy moved closer and took Faith by the shoulders,
“Yes it is. It’s working Faith I already told you. It’s not always perfect but I do love you, please Faith I never want you to think otherwise or to think I’m ashamed of you I’m NOT”
Faith put her hand on Buffy’s cheek tenderly and told her,
“I know B, you’re not ashamed of me; you’re ashamed of you. You don’t really accept us Buffy”
Faith moved aside and started back drying her hair, Buffy was silent and the brunette told her,
“Let’s wait for a while ok? You take the job for this summer if you want then we’ll see in time ok?”
Buffy nodded,
“Ok”
She went to take her jacket,
“I gotta go”
She was supposed to meet the Scoobys for a meal at mc Donald, Faith was aware of it, she told her,
“Have fun and tell them I said hi, for what it’s worth”
Buffy began to explain, annoyed,
“Faith you know they don’t dislike you, they said you could come if you want, you know they have-”
Buffy stopped as Faith was looking at her with her please-not stupid look on. Buffy took her bag, she looked a few seconds at some papers that was in it and put it in her jacket’s pocket and waved,
“I’ll see you tonight”
“Yes, bye Buffy”
Buffy left and Faith sighed, very annoyed. Outside the motel Buffy took the papers out of her pocket and looked at them. It was responses from several colleges. The letters were already opened. Buffy walked away very thoughtful.
PART 10
Later that afternoon, a knock on the motel’s door. Faith looked at the alarm clock and frowned. Buffy was still supposed to be with her friends and Faith wasn’t expecting anyone else. Faith was never expecting anyone else. She got up and opened the door. She managed to hide her surprise quite well. The blonde woman asked her nicely,
“Can I come in?”
Faith stepped aside letting the woman in as she replied,
“Of course... miss Summers”
Joyce walked in and checked the place for a few seconds, dwelling on the bed longer than she, herself, would have wanted so Faith interrupted the woman’s thoughts,
“Buffy’s not here, she’s with her friends, at the mall probably”
“I know, that’s why I came now, I need to talk with you alone”
Faith offered a chair to Joyce who just nodded negatively and the brunette sat on her bed,
“What can I do for you?”
Joyce seriously said,
“You know this isn’t going anywhere?”
Faith asked,
"What are you talking about?"
Her frown was betraying her knowledge of what Joyce meant, the older woman went on,
“Your story with my daughter”
Faith got up,
“I don’t mean to be rude Miss Summers but me and Buffy’s private life is none of your business, at least really not something I wanna discuss with you”
Joyce went on firmly,
“Well, I thought you loved her”
Faith frowned,
“Well yes, but it doesn’t have anything to do with that”
“Yes it does, if you really love her you will listen. Buffy is about to throw a whole future for something that hasn’t got any. You and her is nothing she can rely on”
“You don’t know a thing about me and Buffy’s love”
“I know that you’re talking about love but love is sacrifice most of the time not selfishness. You’re both about to make the biggest mistake of your life”
Faith was about to reply but Joyce didn’t let her time to do so as she added,
“I’m sorry for you Faith, that’s right I don’t know much about you and I think you’re probably full of resources but the fact is that, apart from the slaying you don’t have much in life and... sorry again but that’s not my problem; my problem is that my daughter has been accepted in some prestigious universities like Northwestern and I know that she’s gonna throw that away for a pseudo love. I know my daughter very well. She’s never going let go of your story... She will not be the one doing it. She DOES have much more than the slaying and I don’t want her to waste her life like that”
Faith had sat back on her bed during Joyce’s speech, she looked disappointedly surprised, she said very low to herself though Joyce heard her,
“She said she didn’t have the responses, she didn’t tell”
So Joyce took the opportunity,
“And why do you think she didn’t tell you? You’re smart Faith, you know that I’m right; she knows that I’m right; the best for her is not to stay with you. She has to go away from this town and this life”
Faith shook her head and got up again,
“There’s something you will have to accept one day or another Joyce, this life, the slayer is what she is. It’s an innate part of her; you can never pull it out of her, as far away as you can send her from this town... as far as she could go from me... I’ll always be a part of her too”
Joyce walked towards the door,
“I think I’ve told you everything I wanted, now it’s your decision. If you love her that much, you’ll do the right thing for her, I count on that”
She left, leaving Faith very thoughtful.
~~~~
Faith didn’t say a word to Buffy, neither about her mother’s visit, nor about the colleges’ acceptance. They saw each other at the bronze that night. Faith saw the others too but like each time they didn’t exchange much apart from saying hello.
Some more days went by. They were still in the motel room, Buffy was looking at a catalogue of dresses for the prom and Faith was beside her on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Buffy was completely caught up into her thoughts,
“Wow, this one, that’s the one I-oi, a bit expensive, Oh God I got to have that dress, don’t you think it’s beautiful?”
Faith glanced at it and just said,
“Ya, but with that much money I could almost buy that place”
“Yes I know but- The Prom! it happens only once in a lifetime”
Faith joked,
“Repeat the grade and it’ll happens twice”
Buffy didn’t smile,
“Can’t you be serious for just a second Faith, it’s very important to me”
“I notice that, it’s just a party B”
“It’s not a party; it’s the one; The Prom, the night every student dream about?”
“I don’t, well I’m not a student anymore maybe that’s the problem”
“What do you mean Faith?”
“I mean I have better things to worry about that’s all”
“Do you mean that... you’re not going to be there?”
“I don’t mean anything right now”
Faith added still seriously,
“So what college did you pick?”
Buffy was surprised by the question and also embarrassed, Faith went on,
“What? You think I’d forgotten about it just because you wished it? I haven’t. I know you’ve been accepted in pretty decent ones so what are you doing?”
“Nothing”
Faith remained calm,
“And after that?”
“I don’t know Faith! I just- I’m staying here that’s sure, I’m not gonna go anywhere with you being here”
“And why? You think I couldn’t handle Sunnydale’s Hellmouth?”
“But God Faith I love you, this is the reason. I don’t wanna go away because I can’t be far from you that’s the reason and I don’t need any other”
Faith calmly said,
“So to sum up; you’re not going to College right? And you’re gonna go work in that coffee shop so that you’ll be able to pay during at least a year for that beautiful dress you’ll wear only once in your life right? That’s a good summary?”
Buffy was annoyed, she moved closer to Faith,
“What is wrong Faith? Please why are you acting that way?”
“I’m sorry Buffy, I don’t mean to- I just don’t want you to make any mistakes that’s all. I’m so afraid of...“
“What Faith? Please talk to me”
“I don’t think this is the right way that’s all”
Buffy pleaded,
“But why? What do you mean?”
Faith sat up straight on the bed and Buffy kept looking at her unsure, she sat up too and put her arms around her shoulders telling her,
“Is it about the prom? The dress, I know it sounds a bit of a whim when you don’t have the money I know, I don’t care what I wear Faith as long as I’m with you”
Faith honestly said,
“You really mean that you want me to accompany you on the most important night of your life?”
Buffy took the brunette’s face in her hands and made her look at her,
“The most beautiful night of my life is every night I spend with you Faith. You are the most important thing in my life so to me, it is very natural that I want you with me for that very special night”
Faith was touched; she gulped but remained sad as she told,
“I know you mean it Buffy but... try to picture it, imagine all twelfth graders with their boyfriends and girlfriends, imagine all your friends, imagine how you’re not gonna be at ease being with me, I know, I know B don’t say it I know you love me and you love being with me but... you know how you react to their gazes and whispers, it’s gonna spoil your whole night and I don’t want that”
Buffy honestly said,
“I don’t care about their gazes or anything because I just have to snuggle in your arms, to hold you tight to feel so good again. Then I forget about everything else you know that Faith”
Faith smiled hugging her like Buffy had just described before telling her blonde lover,
“I know Buffy, but the thing is... you’re not living in my arms... you’re living in this world; that night is part of this world too, we’re not”
“You’re talking nonsense Faith”
Faith got up and tried to sound firm,
“The council made me an offer Buffy”
Buffy got up too with surprise,
“What offer? When?”
“Couple of weeks ago. They can find me a correct job plus they’re willing to pay half of the rent”
Buffy smiled,
“That’s wonderful; you see we’ll get through it”
Buffy’s smile faded at Faith’s grave expression, the brunette went on,
“It’s not here Buffy, not in Sunnydale”
Buffy asked half angrily, half already suffocating in fear of the meaning,
“Where?”
“Doesn’t matter Buffy”
“No of course it doesn’t, you’re telling me that it's been a couple of weeks now that you're thinking of leaving me and I shouldn’t even know where?”
“I don’t want to leave you Buffy I-“
“Yes you do! You don’t care about me as much as I do”
Faith moved closer taking her by the arms,
“Yes I do Buffy, I’m just trying to do what’s best but I don’t wanna leave you”
Buffy exclaimed,
“Then don’t!”
The blonde girl broke down crying in Faith’s arms,
“Don’t leave me”
Faith held her tight,
“I can’t leave you Buffy, I’m here, I’m right here, it’s ok please don’t cry I can’t stand seeing you cry”
Buffy pulled away a bit and Faith wiped her tears away, Buffy pleaded,
“Please Faith, stay, with everything that happened, we’re all tired, with your job, the mayor’s plan, you’re tired Faith, you’re just tired, you don’t wanna leave me, just wait after the graduation please, I’ll take the inscription to UC Sunnydale if you want, I’ll do anything but not... without you”
Buffy was choking; Faith gave her a tender kiss on the mouth,
“Ssh calmed down my love, it’s ok, I’m not going anywhere... right now”
She held her tight but remained very thoughtful.
PART 11
Buffy and Willow were sitting in the couch of the concourse of the school. Buffy was looking at a random tabloid and Willow at a book of witchcraft. It was the morning, Prom was the next evening. Willow suddenly told her cheerfully,
“Hey Buffy do you know with whom I talked about you today?”
Buffy frowned but replied lightly,
“Well, no, you’re talking about me to someone not being Xander or Oz? Not sure I’m gonna like that Will”
They were smiling and Willow said,
“Well that’s the problem in fact, we’re always together, you don’t meet any people apart from the Scoobies, I know it’s cause of the slaying, it’s more easy with people knowing about you but still I think it’s not good for your social life Buffy”
“Err, yeah maybe, not much I can do about it anyway”
Willow went on with a big smile,
“Well I ran into Scott today and we talked about you”
“Scott? Scott Hope? And you talk- wait what is good news in all that Willow?”
“The thing is that he was sorry about how things turned out between you, he even said he wanted to make it up afterwards and he told me too that he would’ve invited you to the Prom if he haven’t heard about... you know”
Buffy slightly raised her brows looking back at her paper simply saying very low,
“Yes I know”
Willow went on,
“Anyway, he still hasn’t got any partner so who knows?”
Buffy looked at her best friend with a frown but Willow went on before she could say anything,
“And guess who I met at the mall not later than yesterday; Owen, yes he moved to San Francisco but he’s here for the Prom and since he passed the most of his exams here he will be graduating here, he wanted too. Too bad I couldn’t tell him how bad a choice it was now that Giles’ source let us know Graduation Day is also Ascension’s day as well. Anyway he talked about that time at the morgue and that he understood why you pushed him away at that time. He told me that he was still pretty interested in you. And guess what? He doesn’t have any partner for the Prom either. Isn’t that good news?”
Buffy looked at Willow with a querying frown,
“What are you trying to do Will?”
Willow replied with honesty,
“Just trying to help that’s all”
Buffy was surprised and becoming slightly irritated as well,
“But help with what?”
Willow replied hesitating,
“Well, I don’t know, best friend’s stuff you know, I think it’s my role to help you find-“
Buffy cut her, “Find me what Willow? A nice guy?”
Willow didn’t reply and Buffy went on,
“I don’t want any partner Will. I’m not looking for anyone Willow, neither a prom partner, neither a date. I’ve got someone ok?”
Willow frowned,
“She’s not coming with you to the prom is she?”
Buffy got up; both the response to that question and the fact that Willow was asking it that way was making her mad. Willow added,
“Buffy I didn’t mean wrong it’s just, I’m thinking of you, I’m not sure that, her coming with you would be a good thing but-“
“Don’t worry Will, she’s not coming”
Buffy said cutting Willow who noticed the pain in her friend’s eyes. Buffy added,
“No, she’s not coming with me. And I’m not sure I’m gonna go either”
Buffy sat back on the couch looking desperate before ending sadly,
“I don’t even have a dress anyway”
Willow sat beside her,
“I’m sorry Buffy”
“No you’re not”
“Yes I am; Buffy I don’t want to see you sad. I’m really sorry that things-“
“Things what Willow? Don’t tell me you’re sorry things are not turning well because you’re on the very long list of people that didn’t help make them turn the right way”
Buffy got up and added upset,
“And I’m first on that list”
She left under her best friend’s very annoyed gaze.
~~~~
Buffy didn’t go to class, they weren’t really studying anymore anyway. She directly went back to Faith’s motel room that she’d left earlier this day. Faith was awake though it was still early, she was in the bathroom,
“B it’s you?”
Buffy entered the bathroom and put her arms around Faith’s waist, holding her tight. Faith smiled then turned around with a gentle frown,
“What’s wrong baby?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to hold you”
And she held her tight, taking shelter in the brunette’s arms. They kissed and went back to bed kissing and caressing each other for a while before falling back asleep for an hour.
When Buffy woke up Faith was looking at her and caressing her face, she kissed her and slowly moved aside,
“I’ve got something for you”
Buffy smiled lovingly, Faith went to the bathroom and she was talking to Buffy from there,
“Since I’m working late tonight and having a double shift tomorrow I won’t be able to see you before you go to the prom”
Buffy lied herself down and looked at the ceiling sadly replying,
“I don’t think I’m gonna go”
Faith said still in the same tone,
“Yes you are, and you’re gonna put your dress cause I wanna see you with it since I won’t be there”
Buffy sighed,
“I don’t even have a dress”
Faith replied as she got out of the bathroom,
“Good thing then, you can put this one then”
Buffy looked at her incredulously. Faith was holding the dress Buffy had noticed on the catalogue. Buffy was stunned; she slowly sat straight on the bed,
“But how? You- I thought- I mean, what’s that? I mean-”
“Well it’s your prom dress honey. Because I won’t be there doesn’t mean I won’t be with you”
Buffy moved closer putting her hands on Faith’s ones, they were both holding the dress and staring intensely at each other. Then Buffy shook her head,
“But no I can’t, God, you don’t have the money, I don’t want you to spend that much money on-“
“Buffy. You’re worth anything. I want you to have the dress of your dream for the night of your dream. I want it to be just the way you’ve wished it to be”
A slight veil of sadness crossed Buffy’s eyes, “Except that you won’t be there”
Faith moved closer,
“I will. I’m always with you Buffy”
She kissed her and Buffy pulled away,
“But still it’s too much I can’t accept it”
“Don’t worry about the money Buffy, I got myself a deal. Now that dress is yours and put it on, I wanna see you with it before it’s... over”
“I don’t like that word Faith. I want you to be the first one to see me with but after... we’ll have plenty of occasions for you to see me in. I’ll wear it just for you anytime you’ll want me to”
Faith pulled her into a kiss then held her tight,
“I’ll be with you for that night Buffy and every other ones. I want you to never forget about me Buffy”
Buffy had teary eyes,
“How could I? I love you so much. What I feel for you is... God it’s too much, it’s too strong, sometimes I can’t take it so much it’s eating me inside, and I need you so much”
Faith held her tight once more repeating,
“Yes Buffy; too strong, too much. That’s us. That’s everything about us”
They held each other and Buffy put on the dress. Faith kept on looking at her with admiration; she stared intensely at her for long minutes before undressing her slowly, memorizing every curves of the blonde slayer, touching her, caressing her and making love to her tenderly.
~~~~
A few more days passed during which the slayers did not have much alone time. Faith was working hard at the bronze, doing two shifts in a row most nights. And Buffy was busy preparing the counter attack against the mayor. They were seeing each other mainly at the scoobies meeting so not really in a lover’s way. Faith was a bit distant but with the battle coming soon and her hard scheduled Buffy didn’t question her much, she didn’t have the time anyway, then Graduation Day was here.
And they were rewarded for all the hard work they did these last days. Of course there was a lot of death but they defeated the mayor. The school was not much more than but rubbles and smoke now. It was still dark due to the eclipse, rescue teams were bustling about everywhere. A certain chaos was reigning despite the victory. Buffy was looking all around, walking slowly, she’d let Willow and Oz together and she knew Giles was with Wesley in an ambulance. She saw with relief Xander walking towards her, they hugged.
“It worked Buffy, we got him”
She looked exhausted and just replied,
“Yes”
She was still looking around, he told her,
“I believe I saw her over there”
Buffy looked at him hopeful, he smiled and added,
“And she was fine. Well gotta get back to the others, Cordy staked a vamp do you know that? Now she says she wants to go on patrol with us again, what do you think of that?”
She looked at him and ironically replied,
“Be nice to me Xander, tell her I didn’t survive ok?”
They both smiled and he left. Buffy immediately went towards the area Xander told her she saw Faith. The brunette was there, walking towards Buffy. The blonde slayer rushed to her arms and hugged her tightly. Faith was looking sadly thoughtful, she pulled apart after a while and Buffy told her cheerfully,
“We did it Faith! We succeeded! We made it”
Faith didn’t give her back her hopeful gaze but instead a colder one as she said toneless,
“No we didn’t”
PART 12
Buffy smiled not understanding, she frowned a bit,
“What do you mean?”
Faith said in a very cool tone,
“You know what I mean, look it was nice but we gotta move on now ok?”
Buffy moved slightly backwards not really believing what she just heard, the brunette went on with the same tone,
“No really Buffy it was nice, we had a great time but now it’s becoming kind of heavy don’t you think? Even boring in fact”
Buffy was speechless, Faith started to move backwards too,
“Anyway, got a bus to catch so, I’ll see you around”
Buffy caught her by the arms,
“No, wait! God this is crazy, you can’t- I mean”
Faith sighed looking aside like she didn’t care and Buffy went on a bit more confident,
“This isn’t you I know that... You can’t be serious”
Faith replied still indifferently,
“Well actually this is me, I’m not to be taken seriously you know me B, I never settle long at the same place and even less long with the same person, I get bored very fast. Look it’s not the end of the world, think about it that way, it was fun the time it lasted now we’re over it ok?”
“No we’re not; I don’t understand why you’re doing that. You can’t-”
“Jee I’m tired of that B, your constant whining, it’s getting real annoying you know that?”
Buffy was stunned,
“You can’t do that Faith and... not like that”
“Sorry B, flowers not my type, letters neither and I’m not a hypocrite so I’m being straightforward with you because you’re a big girl, you can handle it ok?”
Buffy told her seriously looking at her intensely,
“You’ll never make me believe this is what you really think Faith, and you’ll never make me believe you don’t love me anymore”
Faith freed herself from Buffy’s grip staring intensely at her too before going on still casually,
“Whatever. I gotta go now”
She turned around; Buffy’s breath was taken away,
“Faith!”
She called her but the brunette didn’t turn back, she continued walking despite the squeezing in her heart. She clenched her fists very hard and left under the devastated gaze of the blonde slayer.
~~~~
Buffy was desperate the first days but she quickly realized that she was much stronger than she thought. Much stronger than when she first met Faith. She also knew it was thanks to the other slayer that she’d gotten some confidence and order in her life again, and that she was stronger. She worked at the coffee shop for the summer but went to UC Sunnydale in fall with Willow as the witch had decided to stay in Sunnydale too. The others tried to cheer up her mood first and make her talk about her feelings but Buffy never mentioned Faith ever again. She didn’t want to, not with them at least, she kept Faith and the whole story like a secret garden in her heart. And soon everyone forgot... or rather liked to pretend it never happened. Buffy did not.
She met Riley, cute, nice guy, she started dating him as she moved on with her life but she knew passion was missing... He did too but was blindly in love with her. Everyone seemed to be happily coupled; Xander with Anya, Buffy with Riley and Willow with Tara. Buffy never even spoke with her about Faith even after her best friend went out with her girlfriend. It wasn’t about gender anyway... Willow didn’t talk about it either as Buffy was mooning over Riley... there was no need to bring out the past.
Then Buffy got caught up in her family’s duty, her sister to protect and her mother that fell ill.
Buffy was at the hospital with Joyce who was about to have an operation for a brain tumour. They were talking about Dawn.
“Don’t worry mom I’ll take care of her”
They hugged each other and Buffy pulled apart and said with a convinced tone,
“But I’m not gonna do it alone, you’ll be there with me. I am not gonna do all the dirty work alone you hear me, no way missy”
They slightly smiled and Buffy started to move away but Joyce held her back,
“Buffy wait a minute, there’s something else I’d like to tell you”
Buffy sat back on the bed listening attentively,
“Yes mom”
“You don’t like to talk about it and actually I don’t like that either but- if anything goes wrong with the operation I don’t want to have any regrets”
“Nothing’s gonna go wrong mommy, what’s your worry?”
“It’s about Faith. Faith and you”
“Mom I don’t want you to worry for anything, it’s over, now all you have to do is rest, forget about it”
“Buffy please listen to me”
Buffy slightly looked aside before looking at her mother attentively, Joyce went on,
“I know you never forgot about her Buffy”
She added,
“And I know you never stopped loving her either”
Buffy looked aside once more before saying,
“Mom you really shouldn’t be thinking about that, there’s no reason and-“
“She loved you too Buffy”
Buffy stared at her mother who went on,
“As much as I didn’t want to admit it, she loved you and you loved her. And I know you still do. I’m not gonna lie Buffy and pretend that rejoices me. I know you love Riley and as much as I’d so much like to see you marry him and raise my grandchildren with him I must admit that I know... I know you’re not happy with him the way you were with her. You do not love him the way you loved her and most of everything in my life I want to see you happy Buffy”
“Mom, please”
Buffy didn’t know what to say, Joyce went on,
“I’m not saying I regret the way I reacted because it’s just how it is in my head, in my heart I can’t think otherwise, I just can’t Buffy. But if I was to never wake up from this operation-“
“Mom, don’t say that it’s gonna be ok”
“I’m not finished Buffy, listen to me. I wished I had at least taken the time to listen to you, at least acknowledge your love for each other but I didn’t. I talked to her Buffy, I strongly encouraged her to leave”
Buffy took her mother’s hands,
“Mom it doesn't matter anymore, I understand why you’re saying that but you have nothing to blame yourself for... Faith is a big girl, she took her own decision and so did I when I accepted that decision and chose to move on; this was the only thing to do”
“I know Buffy, I know she did, I know you did too. You’ve been so courageous all these years but- if I tell you all this, it’s not for forgiveness or anything. I want you to be happy, to be at peace in your mind so I want you to promise me Buffy, if I die, you have to go search for her and... talk with her”
“Mom”
“Buffy, this isn’t over in your heart, and in your head, not the way it ended. No matter what happens after but you have to seek her”
Joyce squeezed her daughter’s hands and Buffy nodded,
“I will mom”
They held each other and the doctors entered the room.
Joyce’s operation was a success. The Summers girl were relieved. Buffy kept that conversation in mind but didn’t talk to her mother about it anymore and life went by.
The lack of love and Buffy’s growing distance from Riley got the best over his love for her and he finally left. To her friends’ surprise she wasn’t that down and got over it pretty soon as she was busy with Glory’s threat and Spike’s obsession with her. Then the tragedy happened, Joyce died. The girls were devastated. Buffy was trying to be strong for everyone. She remained alone in front of the grave all night after the burial, she felt a familiar warmth and comforting presence, she looked behind her several times but saw no one around and she was too sad and lost at that moment to think about it.
Then she had to pull herself together as Glory was getting close to her goal. Life became a bit chaotic between Dawn’s rebellion and loneliness, Buffy’s own loneliness and Glory’s attack. And despite her will, Glory managed to find out what she wanted and captured it, the key; Dawn.
~~~~
Spike fell heavily on the ground after the doc threw him out of the platform. He was bleeding and said in a desperate tone through clenched teeth as he was trying to move,
“Dawn”
Barely 10 seconds after, the doctor fell just beside him. Spike frowned and struggled to look up; he frowned trying hard to guess what was happening up there, Willow told the others with a worried tone,
“There’s still someone up there with Dawn”
Xander said,
“God I so hope it’s Buffy”
Anya added,
“Impossible, she was still fighting Glory down there a minute ago!”
~~~~
Buffy finally managed to get up there just in time to have Dawn throwing herself in her arms. Buffy held her tight looking straight in front of her, not knowing if she was dreaming or maybe just hallucinating.
“She saved me Buffy”
That’s only at Dawn’s words that Buffy realized it was true, she looked at her sister caressing her face and told her gently,
“Dawn please go tell the others everything’s fine”
Dawn smiled at her and left.
PART 13
Buffy kept staring at her while the familiar brunette was walking towards her with a delighted smile, she moved closer and reached Buffy’s face, she barely brushed her fingers against the blonde’s cheek whispering,
“You’re still so beautiful”
Buffy closed the remaining gap and they held each other tightly before slightly pulling their face away and Faith added,
“And God you still smell so good”
Buffy slightly smiled with tears in her eyes and they kissed, a long, deep kiss before the platform began to shake and they decided to go down again.
The others were surprised but quite glad to see Faith. They couldn’t realize what happened with Glory yet as it was too big. They first went to Xander’s place as it was the closest; Willow and Tara were constantly kissing and whispering tender words to each other. Xander was playing the doctor in the real meaning of the term; that is, bandaging every wound, her lovers’ first then Giles’ and Spike’s ones. Buffy and Faith went to the bedroom to be alone. They were sitting on it against the headboard, Buffy was a bit against Faith’s chest and the brunette had her arm around her. They remained a while silent. Amongst all this violence and harsh life that was their world; at this precise moment they were at peace.
Faith was slowly stroking Buffy’s hair, she hesitantly began,
“I’m sorry for your mother Buffy”
Buffy held her tightly but didn’t say a word, they didn’t need to and Buffy said after a while,
“You were here that night right?”
“Yes, I wanted to come to you but-“
“You did, I felt you and it comforted me. I didn’t know if I was dreaming or if I needed comfort so much that my senses were desperately feeling the only thing that ever brought me comfort; that is, you. So thank you”
Faith after a while began,
“Buffy I-“
Buffy pulled just apart a little bit in order to see the brunette’s face, Faith went on,
“I wanted to tell you that- everything I said that day. I didn’t mean it I-“
Buffy silenced her with a finger on her lips before replacing it by her lips. Faith gently pulled away a bit and Buffy told her,
“I know Faith, I know why you did it, don’t worry I understood”
Faith went on,
“Believe me Buffy every minute I’ve spent with you was the best of all my life but- I had to”
She caressed Buffy’s face and went on,
“You wouldn’t have let me go otherwise and... there’s no way I would’ve been able to leave you”
“I know Faith. You were right, I mean- not to leave me because this I don’t know; but right that... I would’ve never let you go”
Faith smiled,
“And look at you, the woman you’ve become, pretty admirable, you’re glowing and that pullover... I always told you that white fitted you so well B”
Buffy gave her a sensual smile and then asked concerned,
“What about you?”
Faith replied with honesty,
“Well I’m doing fine on my own there”
Buffy tried,
“And where is exactly there?”
Faith smiled and gently said,
“You don’t need to know”
Buffy gulped and looked a bit aside before looking back at the brunette and inhaling deeply before asking,
“Does that mean that you’re going back there?”
She already knew the response and reluctantly, despite her will, already accepted it. Faith gave her a tender smile before saying,
“I have too, I’m not done with my life there, and here is... you’re not done here either Buffy. I think you’ve got plenty of things to do and-“
Buffy silenced her once again by her lips on hers and they both lied down the bed kissing and caressing each other before Buffy told her,
“It’s gonna be hard this time you know”
Faith asked perplexed,
“What?”
And Buffy replied sensually while roaming her hand on Faith’s stomach,
“Leaving me. What are you gonna say this time to convince me?”
Faith stared at her intensely before whispering,
“I love you”
Buffy felt tears coming in the back of her eyes and Faith sat up straight on the bed, Buffy was still lying on it, they were holding hands and Faith added,
“I don’t have to convince you Buffy because you just know it, I have to go. But this time I don’t need to lie to you”
Buffy sat again and Faith took the blonde’s face in her hands,
“I’m not gonna lie, I leave you but I love you. I’ve never loved anyone but you Buffy, I’ve never stopped thinking about you and I’ll never stop loving you. You’re every part of my being... I like to think that one day... the world will be ready for us, or that we’ll be ready for that world whatever... and we’ll be together”
Buffy’s tears were falling this time, Faith kissed her, a tender kiss quickly turning into a needing kiss and they were lying on the bed, Faith almost on top of Buffy before she whispered,
“I-I... should go now”
Buffy told her in a soft voice with pleading eyes,
“Can’t you stay... just for one night”
Faith replied honestly,
“God I’d love too but, I’m afraid... I won’t be able to leave if we... I have to go now”
She kissed her and hardly managed to pull herself away from Buffy as the blonde was gripping her, having a hard time to let her go,
“Faith”
Faith turned around, Buffy whispered,
“I love you. I’ve never forgotten you and I never will, be sure of that... I’ll love you till I die and beyond”
Faith smiled and told her with an inspired look,
“Wait for me”
She left the room and Buffy whispered to herself,
“I always will my love”
~~~~
2 years later. Willow entered the Summers’ house,
“Hey guys! Check out who I’m bringing home with me”
Dawn exclaimed, “Faith!”
She hugged the dark slayer. The others gathered around, Xander told her,
“Hey nice to see you here, been a while”
“Ya, met Willow in LA and she told me, I’d have come sooner if I’d known”
Dawn asked,
“You were in LA?”
Willow replied faster than Faith,
“Wesley went to look for her in Cleveland cause they needed her help because they really made a mess but thanks to Faith and a little spell of mine it’s ok now...”
Willow frowned at herself before adding,
“Well as much OK as it can be, did I tell you it was a real mess over there?”
They smiled at the red head and Buffy appeared from upstairs, both slayers looked intensely at each other,
“So, Cleveland? That’s where you’ve been all that time”
Faith smiled maliciously,
“Mainly yes, ain’t no Sunnydale but it’s pretty creepy too”
Buffy gave her smile back to the brunette before shaking her head meaning for Faith to follow her. They went to Buffy’s room and remained a bit silent. Faith could tell Buffy’s expression was graver, darker and she looked very tired. Faith was changed a bit too, looking very calm and mature. Faith moved closer and Buffy let her hold her tight. They pulled apart after a moment and went to sit on the bed, side by side. Faith started,
“It seems like a lot happened here, heavy stuff”
“Yes, last year was a bit heavy like you said. I for myself did things I’m not really proud of. I-I guess I wasn’t that big and I thought I could do everything but, mom gone, I must say all the things I had to do, I had to take charge of, I kind of screwed up with all of that, my sister, my friends. And I didn’t think that but after seeing you again... well I just wanted you beside me again, I was feeling lonely I guess and did pretty bad stuff but the worse is that I let my friend’s down and didn’t see their life crumbling apart too, Xander and Anya... and Willow. My best friend was sinking in and I didn’t really do a single thing to help her. She got out of it on her own in fact until... you know about Tara?”
“Yes, she told me and also what happened after, briefly... but it’s over now Buffy and it wasn’t your fault”
Buffy closed her eyes,
“You’re here now I mean-“
Buffy took a deep breath and took back her serious look on,
“Anyway now, it’s war over here Faith, it’s gonna be war”
“I know”
Buffy stood straight, Faith could tell she was hesitant, she was trying to be distant as well and Faith could understand it. She told her,
“You don’t need to say anything Buffy. I’m here to help... Let’s get us pass through this apocalypse and we’ll... have time to talk... after”
She caressed her face and Buffy couldn’t help shivering before pulling herself together,
“So we’re gonna do this together, slayers together and we’ll beat this thing, till then... let’s just... stay focused”
Faith nodded. They both acted much focused indeed on The First and how to defeat it. Faith noticed the way Buffy was acting, hard, cold with pretty much everyone, trying hard to lead her mission till the end and not letting anything get in the way, that’s why she didn’t get in the way but followed Buffy’s direction without hesitations and questions but rather support. And the battle came.
~~
Buffy was trying to get Spike to let go now, telling him he’d done enough. Faith was waiting for Buffy,
“B, we gotta go!”
Buffy looked at Faith and at Spike again begging him,
“Please come with us now”
“Buffy I gotta do this... go away far from here, you don’t belong anymore”
He looked at Faith then at Buffy telling her,
“This is your way now”
Buffy looked at Faith who held out her hand to her. Buffy gave him a last glance before taking Faith’s hand and they left running, escaping by the roof while the town was crumbling down.
The bus in which the survivors had gathered stopped once out of danger. The scoobies gathered at the edge of what was once a town called Sunnydale. After several jokes Xander asked,
“So what do we do now?”
Willow asked Faith,
“You’re gonna go back to Cleveland?”
Faith smiled,
“Well I’m very glad because Courtney made it, Cleveland’s her hometown so now that she can take care of it, I’m handing over the task to her cause me? I’m done with that crap"
She went on with a sensual tone,
“Don’t know about you B? So, what does it feel not to be the one and only anymore?”
Buffy took a deep breath, Faith had just moved closer a bit still behind her and Dawn asked,
“Yes Buffy what are we going to do now?”
Buffy’s smile spread on her face as she thought of the answer and felt Faith’s hand slowly lying on her back as the brunette was still moving closer...
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